2 minute read Sweet fucking Christ, does everyone in the world of cricket suffer from all three major forms of retardation? This is quite literally the worst idea of all time. Back-to-back Ashes series. Ten England v Australia Tests in a row. Does no-one who has control over anything have even the most
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How to make one-day matches unmissable
2 minute read We woke up this morning and just lay there. We knew there was cricket on, but we didn’t jump up. We’re getting a new mattress next week and currently it feels like we’re sleeping on a slight incline, constantly in danger of being rolled out of one side of the
Continue readingSamit Patel makes a commitment
< 1 minute read It would seem that Samit Patel is fully committed to maintaining his lardy physique. As Andy Flower said: “He was chosen on the condition that he would improve his physical state to be in consideration for this squad of 15. He hasn’t done that.” Good work, Samit. That’s commitment. Don’t
Continue readingWhen a batsman reaches 100
< 1 minute read Sam writes: As the third day of the final test in Sydney began I drifted off to sleep, the dulcet tones of Simon Mann hastening my journey along the winding road to slumbertown. An hour or so later I awoke to the news that Alastair Cook was out for 99,
Continue readingWhen Shane Watson hit 161 not out in a one-day match against England
< 1 minute read We’ll be honest. We didn’t see a single ball of this match. We were drinking Belgian beers and playing Goldeneye when it began and we were getting over that experience when it ended. On balance, we made the right choice. Seven one-day internationals between Australia and England a couple of
Continue readingEngland are so bad we just threw up
< 1 minute read We’re not sure we’ve ever seen an England side as bad as this. The top order keep throwing their wickets away. The bowling lacks pace and guile. There’s no plan. No cohesion. Midway through England’s innings we actually threw up due to acute dissatisfaction. We now feel completely irritated. COMPLETELY
Continue readingPaul Collingwood – an England professional
3 minute read The days of Gentlemen and Players are long gone, but Paul Collingwood would have been the latter – a man who never lost sight of the fact that it was all about scoring runs; taking wickets and catches; and occasionally missing the ball often enough that your team salvaged a
Continue readingShane Watson v England
< 1 minute read Australia might have had a better chance in the first Twenty20 international if 10 of them hadn’t been shit. The 11th player, Shane Watson, has suddenly found a world where hitting fifties and bowling straight medium-pace is quite handy. If he’d have found a competent team mate, Australia would have
Continue readingEngland’s Test selectors got everything right
2 minute read It’s not cool to say that. But we’re not cool. We once did a live Twitter review of a cricket computer game while drinking real ale. On the face of it, picking a Test side is simply a matter of finding your 11 best players and then saying their names
Continue readingA quick pause from the gloating
< 1 minute read The site won’t be much fun for Aussies for almost the whole of next week, but we thought we’d break up the gloating with a couple of other pieces. Remember when we got a bit carried away when Andrew Flintoff retired and wrote not one, but two retirement pieces about
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