2 minute read One of our greatest attributes is being annoying. One of the ways in which we achieve this is by inserting words ending in -ation into the Record Breakers theme tune instead of ‘dedication’. You can read the title again now, if you want – although we advise against it. Jonathan
Continue readingCategory: England
Tinkering with spaghetti
2 minute read So where does this leave us? Ashes retention is technically ticked off, but the series is not yet decided. Australia have returned to Test cricket and England have been a little bit disappointing in how they’ve responded to that. England’s bowling, Australia’s batting Young Australian batsmen like Chris Rogers and
Continue readingKevin Pietersen’s shambolic knee inhibits his prancing
< 1 minute read If we had to use a word to describe Kevin Pietersen in the field, we’d use ‘prancing’. However, he hasn’t been prancing in this match. He’s been cumbersome. We also saw a photo of him running during one of the warm-ups and he was panting with neck flab caught mid
Continue readingEthereal watercolours and skittering Mekons
< 1 minute read There was a bit more fast-medium today, or maybe we finally dropped to medium-fast. Either way, it was all a bit ethereal. There’s a point in every massive innings where everyone in the field’s just resigned themselves to things. It’s usually about 430. After that, you get a watercolour painting
Continue readingThe new Old Trafford
< 1 minute read Don’t know if you’ve heard, but they’ve tarted the place up. There’s lots of shiny surfaces now. The Point has been joined by a couple of other Point-like buildings, so it’s a bit like there’s a whole family of fan heaters trained on the pitch. We quite like the effect.
Continue readingEngland drop a giant and select AN EVEN MORE TERRIFYING GIANT
< 1 minute read We’ve already done ‘Chris Tremlett’s back‘ once before. We’d hate to repeat ourself. England have dropped the grossly-overtall Steven Finn and have replaced him with a man of similar height but who also has arms the size of thighs hanging off the sides of some sort of oil-tanker-cum-torso. Then there’s
Continue readingHigh horses and salvation
< 1 minute read No matter how wobbly the opposition appears to be, you shouldn’t gloat too enthusiastically two matches into a five-match series – you need to pace yourself, if nothing else. We’re finding ourself a little bit overwhelmed by the ferocity of the post-Lord’s vivisection. Aussies are tearing strips off their team,
Continue readingAustralia fight with their last breath having misused all previous lung work
< 1 minute read It’s probably not quite right to say that Australia again fought to the final wicket. It’s more that they fought for the final wicket, which isn’t quite so impressive. We’ve also got a suspicion that England are deliberately manufacturing embarrassing 10th wicket partnership statistics with which the Aussie batsmen can
Continue readingJoe Root watches the pitch get all knackered-up
2 minute read We’re never sure what to say about declaration batting. It can be hard to watch as the tension is minimal. Even so, it serves important purposes. Bat for a long time and you get a good view of the opposition bowling. You also sap it of strength. Even if there
Continue readingFatties in a tug o’ war team
2 minute read Trying to assess the quality of the bowling or the helpfulness of the conditions in this Test is like trying to gauge the contribution of the skinny guy in a tug o’ war team. There may well be something remarkable going on, but the impact’s entirely dwarfed by the efforts
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