2 minute readLet’s not go overboard. There are two ways to look at England’s second innings. The first is to see it as indicative of an upward curve, which gives hope for the rest of the series. The second is to say that standards are now so low that it would actually
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The tufty-haired boulder and the blancmange
< 1 minute readThe escape route outlined in yesterday’s article? England evaded it perfectly, opting instead to stand their ground, whereupon they were flattened by the giant, tufty-haired boulder which has been rumbling after them since they landed Down Under. The most frustrating thing is that, for all the devastation, Mitchell Johnson only
Continue readingSame faces, different players – but an opportunity for England
3 minute readToday was a nice little primer in how to approach Test cricket in Australia. It called for extremes. England didn’t really have any. It was all a bit fast-medium. We blame Steven Finn for this. On England’s last Ashes tour, he was exactly the right kind of bowler for Australian
Continue readingWho is Ben Stokes?
< 1 minute readAnd what does he look like? Just Google it… You can always rely on Google.
Continue readingScrawniness and self-floggery
< 1 minute readSo where are we? No-one knows – which is the way it should be. What we do know is that England could have had one, two and, in theory, three more wickets if they’d caught better. We also know that England’s batting looks lighter than Michael Rasmussen. Stop going on
Continue readingJimmy Anderson doing an impression of Nasser Hussain
< 1 minute readWe can only do one impression and it’s an impression of our friend Neal doing an impression of himself. Not only are there very few people who could potentially appreciate it – it also isn’t particularly good. We are therefore filled with admiration for Jimmy Anderson and his note-perfect mimicry
Continue readingEngland can’t bat and Australia can’t bat
2 minute readOkay, let’s take stock. England can’t bat and Australia can’t bat. Generalising masks specific truths, but this is actually a fair summary of where we stand. Mo’tchell Johnson has gathered headlines, but England also failed to score off Ryan Harris (forgivable) and shed middle order wickets against Nathan Lyon (probably
Continue readingLiving within the England panopticon
2 minute readWriting in The Times, Mike Atherton has said of the England setup: “The impression is of a closed, institutionalised and claustrophobic world.” We’re sure he chose his words carefully. It’s also worth noting that this is a man who felt the strains of international cricket despite only ever considering it
Continue readingWhy has Jonathan Trott gone home from the Ashes?
3 minute readFor all that we’re meant to be enlightened, modern folk who are au fait with mental health issues, there’s an odd reluctance to enter into specifics when someone is suffering ‘a stress-related illness’. Physical v mental In a sense, medical problems are nobody’s business but the sportsman in question. It
Continue readingDaubing England’s batsmen with emulsion
2 minute readToday’s grim moment of clarity came courtesy of Mark Butcher midway through the highlights which show immediately after the day’s play. “Michael Clarke made good decisions throughout this match,” he said. Note ‘made’ not ‘has made’. Australia had won then? The rest of the highlights were a joy, particularly when
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