2 minute readIf wealthy, middle-aged American women’s faces teach us anything, it is that people do not go under the knife and then return much as they ever were. Don’t seam bowlers usually have to prove themselves again after surgery? Stuart Broad had a knee problem. It wasn’t anything too debilitating. It
Continue readingCategory: England
The England cricket team is slightly diseased
2 minute readWe’re not sure what the disease is called. Nor can we tell whether it’s a mild virus that you soon overcome or a more serious illness, like rigor mortis. Either way, symptoms include caution, timidity and a fear of failure. Observing these qualities, relatives yearn for the patient to display
Continue readingWho do England rely on? And is that a problem?
3 minute readWith live cricket broadcast at a reasonable hour, a Test tour of the West Indies is one of our favourites when it comes to watching the game on TV. It’s a shame it comes hot on the heels of the World Cup, ahead of an Ashes and in conflict with
Continue readingBring out your dead – the mortician’s cart rolls by the ECB
2 minute readWe’ve a slight concern that the ECB’s new chief executive referred to ‘the England Cricket Department’ in announcing Paul Downton’s sacking, as if English cricket really were a corporation in which broad, curved desks were every bit as important pieces of equipment as bats and balls. Nevertheless, it’s hard not
Continue readingThe multi-coloured Excel monster that is the English domestic season
2 minute readEach year, The Cricketer produces a wall chart detailing all of the summer fixtures. It works well as a visual representation of the way the English domestic game is organised. White space is in short supply. It is as much an assault on the senses as a paper wall chart
Continue readingWho is Rahkeem Cornwall?
< 1 minute readHe’s this guy. And here’s his Cricinfo page which currently features a spectacularly poor headshot (and we of all people know one when we see one). It’s rather as if the photographer has instructed the Antiguan: “Make a sad face. Now do some mouth-breathing. Perfect!” According to Tony Cozier, Rahkeem
Continue readingAdil Rashid braced for more knocks
< 1 minute readIt’s always faintly harrowing when England select a leg-spinner. The way they’re treated tends to be geared towards absolute decimation of their confidence. Adil Rashid himself has benefited from this once before. Eight years ago, we promised Rashid that we’d always be nice to him – even if he got
Continue readingQuasi-nepotism and the murky lens of hindsight – England’s MD and national selector appraised
2 minute readWe’ve written about just what a monumental achievement it was for England to get knocked out in the group stages. The more we think about it, the more we’re impressed at how they managed to prevent even one cylinder from firing. There is talk that Paul Downton may get the
Continue readingCounting England cricketers who went to state schools
2 minute readGuardian writer Toby Chasseaud provided us with a shocking revelation the other day. In 1987-88, of the 13 players who represented England on a tour of Pakistan, only one had attended a private school. Did that really happen? Was that really the way things once were? We don’t want to
Continue readingHow England tried to drink chai but found itself with the hot milky skin draped across its chin
4 minute readWe’ve never been a huge fan of the phrase ‘more than one way to skin a cat’. Cats are decent sorts and while yours would happily eat you if you were dead, that doesn’t mean he wishes you harm – it merely reflects his no-nonsense attitude to the difference between
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