< 1 minute readEveryone’s got a skill. Everyone’s got one thing that they’re inexplicably good at. For many people it’s something useful, like having the ability to retain facts. Other people have more specific abilities, like being good at table tennis without every really having played before. Our skill is drinking litres and
Continue readingCategory: Australia
Can there be any justification for adopting Jason Krejza – let’s put it to the vote
< 1 minute readOn the one hand, he’s a spin bowler with a really mediocre record and people are lining up to, er… not know who he is – which is quite endearing. On the other hand, he’s Australian, which isn’t endearing. It’s a quandary and no mistake. Former Aussie spinner, Ashley Mallett,
Continue readingSelf-effacing Hayden looks forward to India tour
< 1 minute readMatthew Hayden is the kind of man who looks in the mirror and smiles at what he sees. “Having played over there and played well over there, I think I’m going to be the obvious target.” Really he should look in the mirror and immediately burst into tears before punching
Continue readingSymonds: Pick me – I’m not a knob now
< 1 minute readEver since he was sent home from Australia’s one-day series against Bangladesh, speculation has been rife about Andrew Symonds. Specifically, that speculation has centred on exactly what kind of aquatic creature molested him as a child. Some say it was a turbot, some say a merman. Taken as a whole,
Continue readingWhen is a country too dangerous to tour?
2 minute readTim May, chief executive of the Federation of International Cricketers Associations, explains why Australia are likely to tour India, but wouldn’t visit Pakistan (like usual) for the Champions Trophy: “Pakistan has had 66 suicide bombings within its country over the past 12 months with over 3,000 people killed and 17
Continue readingAndrew Symonds: tool
< 1 minute readWe’ve long suspected Andrew Symonds of being a five-year-old trapped in the body of a hirsute cow. That opinion is being reinforced of late. From The Australian: “Stung $3000 for missing the team bus, he became what one person described as “the rule Nazi” and would ensure he was on
Continue readingWho the hell is Jason Krejza?
< 1 minute readAustralia have called up an off-spinner called Jason Krejza as support for Bryce McGain in the upcoming Test series against India. How Australia’s spin resources have – well – evaporated. Even McGain (who we won’t say a word against) will be a debutant. Other Australian spinners we know: Dan Cullen,
Continue readingAndrew Symonds crosses the fishing line
< 1 minute readAndrew Symonds has been sent home from Australia’s one-day series against Bangladesh IN DISGRACE after missing a team meeting because he was out fishing. It’s a fairly minor misdemeanor in itself, but it seems there were other incidents which led the Australian hierarchy to question Symonds’ attitude. Unconfirmed rumours emanating
Continue readingSomebody likes Matthew Hayden
< 1 minute readAs you probably know, that person is Usain Bolt, a Jamaican giant who can run quickly. Matthew Hayden has responded, which rather pleasingly means he’s had another go at ‘talking’. First of all, we’ll remind you why it is FUNDAMENTALLY WRONG to like Matthew Hayden. The first thing he said
Continue readingBrett Lee is a liar
< 1 minute readBrett Lee’s been caught out in an EVIL and WICKED lie. We always knew that genial smile concealed unparalleled deviousness: “We’ve got the Ashes coming up as well which we are not directly looking forward to right now because we have a few things in place that we have to
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