< 1 minute readDear Australia, Please retain your erratic kack-hander. His ingenious bowling tactic of surprising the batsman with a delivery that isn’t a full-pitched, legside wide really lends itself to our unsophisticated ‘repeat until funny’ approach to writing a website. We have upwards of 200 “jokes” wherein Johnson grasps at the air
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Shane Warne as commentator for Sky Sports
< 1 minute readAs a commentator, Shane Warne‘s all that’s good about Australians: he’s straightforward, honest and not afraid to say what he’s thinking. Warne’s at his best describing spin bowling, but it’s also fascinating to hear about life in the Australia team. Without actually saying that he thought any particular player was
Continue readingMitchell Johnson finds top form
< 1 minute readMitchell Johnson was allowed seven whole overs against Northamptonshire and didn’t bowl a single wide. Sure, he didn’t take any wickets, but when you’re up against batsmen like Alex Wakely and Riki Wessels, it’s bound to be tough for a bowler. Johnson’s got a really good chance of hitting the
Continue readingMitchell Johnson’s bowling problems
< 1 minute readAustralia coach, Tim Nielsen, has some positive words to say about Mitchell Johnson, who’s currently trying to read this article on the bookcase four feet to the left of his monitor: “It wasn’t like he’d lost confidence and all the things were falling apart and he was bowling 85mph and
Continue readingThe Andrew Strauss catch of Phil Hughes
< 1 minute readPhil Hughes edged a Flintoff delivery to the slips. Andrew Strauss scooped it up, but did it graze the turf? The umpires didn’t refer it, but if they had have done, Hughes would certainly have been given not out. The heart bleeds. The Australian view is that Hughes would definitely
Continue readingWatching Ricky Ponting flip out
< 1 minute readRicky Ponting always reminds us of the spoilt youngest daughter in a story about an upper class family set in the Fifties. She’s short, ridiculously spoilt and on the rare occasions she doesn’t get her way, she shrieks and shrieks and her facial expression becomes unavoidably punchable. One of the
Continue readingAustralia batting collapse and other good things
< 1 minute readThis morning, we said that England’s 425 wasn’t a good score against these Australian bowlers. We stand by that, but somewhat gleefully concede that it isn’t as bad a score as 156-8. With this and Steve Harmison taking 6-20 in the county championship, could things get any better? Rob Key’s
Continue readingAustralia’s bowlers aren’t flattered by comparisons with the past
< 1 minute readLargely because they’re a bit toss. 425 ain’t good enough and England haven’t knackered out Australia’s four bowlers as much as they should have done. Mitchell Johnson Mitchell Johnson or James Anderson? Easy. Johnson has promised a lot, but unless you love non-bouncing wides, he hasn’t really delivered. We love
Continue readingShane Warne’s head
< 1 minute readShane Warne’s head has long been round and red, but it seems to be getting ever more inflated and ever more vivid in colour. It looks like a spacehopper.
Continue readingAustralian batsmen batting on and on
< 1 minute readThis is the toss side of the Ashes that you forget about in the two year downtime: ball not doing a lot, Australian batsmen not doing a lot wrong. You can enliven proceedings greatly by playing the ‘how bored can I possibly make myself’ game. Put the TV on mute
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