< 1 minute readIt’s Ronseally named The Ashes Catch-Up Show and it’s available on their website from 7pm each day. 10 minutes isn’t exactly life-changing but it’s better than the proverbial kick in the teeth and far, far better than a literal kick in the teeth. It’s also a very dense, action-packed ten
Continue readingCategory: Australia
Steve Smith named man of the series as Australia fans laud captain’s attacking approach
2 minute readFans and pundits alike are agreed that Steve Smith will be the difference between the two sides in this year’s Magellan Ashes (movement rate of all ships is increased by two). He has therefore been named man of the series, even though we’re barely halfway through the first Test. Some
Continue readingSteve Smith erodes delight
2 minute readSteve Smith is a very boring batsman these days. There’s so little jeopardy about his play that it’s hard to feel interested. For much of the latter part of the day, events progressed along a railroad with no possibility for detours. Some would say he’s the best batsman in the
Continue readingMassive weaknesses and massive strengths – the first few pages of the story of James Vince and Australia’s bowling attack
2 minute readOn the first day of the first Ashes Test, James Vince made what Reese described to us as ‘a daddy 30’. No-one expected Vince to make 83 and what’s so marvellous about that is that it undermines a number of pre-series certainties to leave us all watching a nice, unpredictable
Continue readingShaun Marsh’s back
2 minute readWe’re so glad we went with Shaun Marsh is back last time around because now that he’s suffering a back complaint we can use a totally new headline. Totally new. Marsh may or may not be fit for the first Test, but the development still has the potential to muddy
Continue readingPace and sustained pace – Mitchell Starc and Pat Cummins are half an attack
2 minute readAs the pre-Ashes war of words hits a dizzying peak of meaninglessness, it’s worth reflecting on something said long after a previous series had finished. Reflecting on the team’s modus operandi during The Mitchell Johnson Ashes, Peter Siddle said: “The key stat for us is maidens. The more maidens you
Continue readingAustralia win the bloody Ashes
< 1 minute readIn shit news, Australia have retained the Ashes. They won the first T20 international to give them a four-point series lead with only four points left to play for. Test centurion Ellyse Perry was at one point on a hat-trick for Australia as England slipped to 16-4. From there, the
Continue readingShaun Marsh is back
2 minute readIt occurs to us that people are far more likely to say “Shaun Marsh is back” than use the contraction “Shaun Marsh’s back” when referring to his return. This rather undermines an excellent joke we were going to make. Never mind. We’re sure we’ll one day get an opportunity to
Continue readingJoe Root crushes the ‘targeting’ cliché
< 1 minute readJoe Root has done many great things in international cricket. He launched England’s rebound in 2015 and kicked off the last Ashes with a magnificent hundred later the same summer. Now he’s shone a light on the fundamental bullshittery of ‘targeting’ the opposition’s captain/best batsman. “I’ve heard a lot of
Continue readingEllyse Perry takes a rare opportunity and makes it very difficult for England to win the Ashes
< 1 minute readEllyse Perry’s long wait for a Test hundred lasted nine years and seven Tests. If you don’t get too many opportunities, you might as well make any hundred a double – she finished on 213 not out. The first women’s Test match was between Australia and England in December 1934.
Continue reading