2 minute readSteve Smith was spotted having a beer in New York last week. Several newspapers ran really stupid stories about it with really stupid headlines. We were going to write about the stupidest one but then we forgot what it was and they also deleted the story. Fortunately, we’ve now remembered,
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Are England the ultimate flat pitch one-day side?
3 minute readOn June 19, 2018, England took the Australia bowling attack apart as if it were a giant Lego penis and grandma was coming over. The dismantling was rapid, efficient and utterly comprehensive. They made 481-6, the highest total in the history of one-day internationals. We strongly disagree with the idea
Continue readingAustralia redefine “the line” (again)
< 1 minute readWe always do our best to keep you updated on the exact whereabouts of “the line,” according to its official custodians, the Australia cricket team. In news that will be hugely reassuring to everyone, Australia’s new captain and coach say that they are well aware of the location of the
Continue readingDid Justin Langer say it was “humbling” to be appointed Australia coach?
3 minute readOf course he did. This is not a bet anyone would have taken. Justin Langer is exactly the kind of guy who would say something like “humbling” when given a new job. He did however come up with an even better quote – and by “even better” we of course
Continue readingI Don’t Like Cricket, I Hate It – the county cricket and crying Aussies edition
3 minute readA semi-regular feature in which we ask a fella going by the name of Prince Prefab about cricket – even though he hates cricket. We are in bold. Prince Prefab is not. King Cricket: We’re speaking now on the eve of the County Championship and I am all the way
Continue readingExactly how bad was Australia’s tour of South Africa?
5 minute readMost Test tours are bad tours these days because it is rare for any team to win away from home. That said, there are different degrees of badness. We have a faint suspicion that Australia’s recently-completed tour of South Africa might have been unusually bad. Let’s try and work out
Continue readingWhy did Steve Smith and Cameron Bancroft think that cheating using sandpaper was worse than doing the exact same cheating using something that wasn’t technically sandpaper?
3 minute readWhen we first saw Cameron Bancroft tampering with the ball using sandpaper, we thought to ourself: “That is sandpaper” – and so did everyone else. We were therefore very much surprised when he later claimed that it was not in fact sandpaper but something akin to home-made sandpaper. “We had
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Has David Warner really ‘gone rogue’ and if so, why? Let’s examine the evidence
4 minute readAbsolutely the best recent headline about Australia’s ball tampering is the one on Fox Sports suggesting that David Warner has ‘gone rogue’. The evidence for David Warner’s rogue-going is that (a) he was sitting on his own at one point and (b) he drank Champagne with friends who weren’t cricketers.
Continue readingAustralia have been caught ball-tampering. But what was the worst aspect? And what was the funniest?
4 minute readWell this is very much hilarious but also reprehensible because saying the second bit is part of the unwritten contract we have all entered into as cricket fans. Australia have been caught ball-tampering, a simple statement that doesn’t really do justice to all that’s happened and how people have reacted
Continue readingLet’s celebrate that magnificent Rabada v Warner thing without at any point expressing support for all the stuff that gave rise to it
3 minute readHere at King Cricket, we’re not at all in favour of unnecessary on-field aggro: fielders over-celebrating dismissals, bowlers getting right up in the batsman’s face and all that. However… We are HUGELY in favour of adrenaline-fuelled cricket – particularly when it involves a true fast bowler and a batsman who
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