2 minute read“It will be like two balls of mercury on the one plate,” according to Matthew Hayden. Regular readers of this website will know that Hayden is currently serving as Pakistan’s batting coach and principle guff-talker. Justin Langer is of course Australia’s current head coach and principle guff-talker. Way back when,
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3 minute readSometimes it’s Monday morning and the latest cricket news is… not excellent. So let’s busy ourselves with some good old-fashioned gloating instead. You may have noticed that England beat Australia on Saturday. And then carried on beating them. There were many highlights, several of which did not involve the camera
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2 minute readOne of the defining qualities of Matthew Hayden’s guff-talking is his habit of throwing in a load of additional words that add precisely nothing to what he is trying to say. We’re going to talk to you about three recent examples. Last time around – back when Hayden first took
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2 minute readHe couldn’t leave it at mere “accuracy,” could he? Chris Silverwood had to talk up the England bowling attack’s “supreme accuracy” when announcing the 2021-22 Ashes squad. “Here you go, everyone. Each of you take a stick. You’ll need these to beat us with in a couple of months’ time.”
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5 minute readShane Watson’s run-out for 103 during the Perth Test of the 2013/14 Ashes was one of the all-time great comedy dismissals. This is why. As an England fan, it’s easy to steer your gaze away from the 2013/14 Ashes. It wasn’t just a defeat, it was an annihilation. And it
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2 minute readWe’ll tell you one thing – there is going to be an Ashes. Even if it’s just Tim Paine v Tim Paine Pretending To Be The England Players, there’s going to be an Ashes. “The Ashes are going ahead,” revealed Australia’s long-term stand-in captain this week. “The first Test is
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3 minute readMatthew Hayden will be working as a batting consultant for Pakistan at the T20 World Cup in the UAE next month. Matthew Hayden is a man we used to write about very often. Now, against our better judgement, we’re about to write about him again. Some time in 2006, we
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< 1 minute readWe’ve done a special Ridiculous Ashes podcast about Michael Clarke stemming from our coverage of the 2013/14 series. We got writer, broadcaster and podcaster Adam Collins on to help us because he knows more about Michael Clarke than we do. We never really ‘got’ Michael Clarke. The thing that baffled
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< 1 minute readSeries two of the Ridiculous Ashes draws to a close this week with a look at the Sydney Test of the 2013/14 series and England’s traditional final-Test-of-an-away-Ashes chaos. This was the match in which Gary Ballance, Boyd Rankin and Scott Borthwick all made their Test debuts. It was also a
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4 minute readWe love an ill-advised leave. We love Darren Gough. We love Australian batsmen ill-advisedly leaving Darren Gough. We’ve just been watching Darren Gough bowling Australia out in the 1994-95 Ashes because, you know, why not? (If you want to gain an insight into the King Cricket editorial/creative process, we were
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