< 1 minute read After day two of the second Test, the important question is this: Is Michael Vaughan getting louder? Maybe he was always like this, but it seems to us that he’s crossed the speaking-shouting threshold this season. At the start of Channel 5’s highlights programme, when he’s standing in the middle
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A series of things for which it’s quite hard to come up with an appropriate headline
< 1 minute read Q: What do you call a donkey that was born in New Zealand, grew up in Australia, got a snorter first ball in his first Test but survived and went on to make 88 off 70 balls? A: A Ronchi It’s probably not the greatest joke, but that’s not what
Continue readingLike that dumpling from the Caribbean place last week, this match may well take a day or two to digest
< 1 minute read Imagine going back in time and trying to tell cynical, world-weary you from a week ago about this match. “England were 30-4 inside the first hour of day one,” you’d say. “Yeah, that seems about right,” Earlier You would reply. “And they then conceded 523 in New Zealand’s first innings,”
Continue readingNew Zealand have something atop their spine
< 1 minute read Looks like we’re gonna need a bigger skull. A year ago we wrote about how New Zealand’s first few vertebrae – the batsmen at three, four, five and six – needed to be (metaphorically) full of brainy gloop to make up for shortcomings at the top. After a 148-run opening
Continue readingJoe Root hasn’t made a hundred in England for almost a year
2 minute read We’re thinking about trying to get more into selective use of statistics. It seems to be a big thing in cricket, but we’re not off to a great start. Truth is it’s barely been nine months since Joe Root last made a hundred in England. Actually, we didn’t specify Test
Continue readingWe tried to write about Martin Guptill
< 1 minute read But it seemed to come out as a Dan Vettori piece. Big beardy Dan. Back from retirement. Keeping it tight like one-day cricket hasn’t changed at all in the last decade and leaping about like a man roughly the same age but not quite so decrepit.
Continue readingKane Williamson demonstrates how to hit a six
2 minute read When New Zealand played Australia, the bowlers won and cricket was all the better for it. Runs are not a sensible unit of measurement when gauging the value of the ‘product’. AB de Villiers is a genius and deserves every plaudit that comes his way, but Kane Williamson’s 45 off
Continue readingWhen Southee and McCullum skinned England
2 minute read Skinned them alive? Probably not. Skinned them undead maybe, for England increasingly seem like zombies. Asked to explain England’s latest defeat, all Eoin Morgan could muster was “braaaains” in a long, drawn-out moan. “Skiiiill” and “caaaaalmness” were also lacking. In contrast to England’s rotting flesh, New Zealand have a surfeit
Continue readingWhich cricketers possess X-factor? A comprehensive guide
< 1 minute read How do you measure X-factor? Does it come in units or is it a subtance. Does Glenn Maxwell give you one X-factor or does he provide you with a few centilitres of X-factor that you can pool along with whatever can be provided by Mitchell Johnson, David Warner and Xavier
Continue readingKane Williamson wins the combativity prize
2 minute read It’s a double-post day today. Maybe we’re all backed-up after slacking off over Christmas. A few words about New Zealand first and then this afternoon we’ll turn to Australia v India, so hold your commenting horses if that’s what you want to talk about. In cycling, there’s a thing called
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