< 1 minute readHe’s in the squad. The squad’s not that big. He probably will. Australia may well be going down the same route, but it still seems weird to us to select players for a World Cup when you’ve never selected them before. We were so taken aback by Liam Dawson’s inclusion
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Hashim Amla in ODIs – a brief but unwelcome detour into stats
2 minute readThe human brain isn’t wired for statistics. In fact it isn’t wired at all. Perhaps that’s the problem. Maybe in the distant future when we’re all mechanically enhanced cyberfolk we’ll be able to make logical decisions based on data rather than being influenced by our demented emotional responses to stories
Continue readingEngland ODI team triggers outlandish pronouncement
< 1 minute readWe once overheard one man say to another man: “I gave you the money and you ate the money.” True story. The background is that we were in a restaurant in Goa on Christmas Day. It was early evening and the proprietor was already absolutely shit-faced. A customer was buying
Continue readingAnalysis of ICC’s decision to review 2014 restructuring
< 1 minute readThe ICC has realised that the ‘Big Three’ changes pushed through in 2014 were… (a) taking the piss a bit; and (b) liable to lead to the complete implosion of the sport in the long-term They have therefore resolved to do something different instead; something a bit less shit.
Continue readingEngland again fail to make 400 as old-fashioned approach to one-day cricket continues to hold them back
< 1 minute readIn the first one-day international against South Africa at Bloemfontein, England, batting first, again failed to pass 400. In so doing they extended a barren run which now stretches all the way back to June. On a flat pitch, they would have expected to have done better. South Africa, Australia
Continue readingWhen should we start thinking about the World T20?
< 1 minute readApparently things don’t ‘hove into view’. They actually heave into view – it’s just that no-one says that. One thing’s for certain though, things that demand this verb are large and cumbersome. A cat never heaves into a view, for example (although it may well heave while in view, if
Continue readingWhich struggling England Test batsman is currently of most interest to people?
< 1 minute readWe’re not interested in anyone’s actual opinion, but we are interested in who people have opinions about. If we were a mainstream media outlet, we’d bill this as being ‘Twitter’s verdict’ as if Twitter’s a single person with a single opinion and a single voice. What we will instead say
Continue readingHow many Tests before you can fairly judge a batsman?
2 minute readBased on their returns in this series, many are calling for some combination of Alex Hales, Nick Compton and James Taylor to be dropped. Then again, based on their returns in this series it’s equally valid to suggest that Alastair Cook and James Anderson should be dropped. It’s almost as
Continue readingThe incompetence deception – England’s greatest ruse
< 1 minute readTruly, it is the best of times. England have hit upon a quite brilliant ploy whereby they disguise themselves as a crap team and yet still win Test series. Expectations remain low, meaning every win is a glorious and uplifting surprise for fans. After the fourth day’s play, Rob Key
Continue readingEngland – select patient
< 1 minute readThis would be the slogan of England under Trevor Bayliss if they went to a crappy marketing company and paid them a billion pounds for branding. That’s how you do slogans these days. You make them grammatically jarring. That’s the old rope you get for your stacks of cash. Here’s
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