< 1 minute readThis would be the slogan of England under Trevor Bayliss if they went to a crappy marketing company and paid them a billion pounds for branding. That’s how you do slogans these days. You make them grammatically jarring. That’s the old rope you get for your stacks of cash. Here’s
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James Taylor at short leg
< 1 minute readSky just broadcast a slow-mo of James Taylor plucking the ball out of his arse. That’s what it looked like anyway. Kneeling down, he reached behind him and lo, there it was. South Africa were doubtless already wary of Taylor’s short leg fielding after a couple of shots ended up
Continue readingWhy Nick Compton is failing
3 minute readWhen England dropped Nick Compton last time around, did they drop him for batting slowly and ineffectively or did they drop him for how he responded to pressure? George Dobell has written what basically amounts to a plea for Compton to ‘dare to be dull’ over at Cricinfo. The term
Continue readingWhen South Africa were Stued
2 minute readBack in August, Stuart Broad tore Australia a new one. But that was last year. How many new ones had he torn in 2016? Not a single one. Disgraceful. He doubtless wanted to address this grave situation in South Africa’s first innings, but was apparently struck down by the wild
Continue readingRoot and Stokes – a certain chemistry
2 minute readAlchemy was when they used to try and turn base metals into gold. It was a load of cobblers. Tell you what isn’t a load of cobblers though – Joe Root and Ben Stokes batting together. Quite often when these two substances are combined, true magic happens. In this year’s
Continue readingSteven Finn bowls well a lot
2 minute readWay back when, there was an advert for Lancashire theme park Camelot in which they made great play of the second half of the name. We can’t remember exactly how it went, but it was something like: “Laugh a lot. Scare a lot. Fun a lot. CAMELOT!” Fun a lot?
Continue readingWhy a declaration from both teams is rarely a good sign
2 minute readTo have one team declaring indicates dominance. To have two teams declaring generally indicates a poor pitch. Catching the ball helps of course – unless you’re playing a Shane Watson XI and therefore have no need of such frivolities. With nothing to bat for beyond a draw, England did at
Continue readingThey’re playing Hashim Amla’s song
< 1 minute readDuring Sunday’s play, the England and South Africa supporters did a duet, trading verses of their respective Moeen Ali/Hashim Amla songs which both employ the tune of No Limits by 2 Unlimited. It was really rather entertaining – although they persisted for so long that we can still hear it
Continue readingWhy it’s time to drop Ben Stokes
2 minute readBen Stokes makes things happen. Against South Africa in Cape Town on the second day, he made time distort such that England appeared to make 312 runs in just 38.5 overs. At one point the TV commentators were reduced to debating whether the ball had landed on the railway line
Continue readingBen Stokes hits the ball hard
< 1 minute readBen Stokes greeted the second new ball as if it were a rampaging arcade machine and he were Kung Fury. After five balls with it, he was 16 runs better off. As ever, he had hit the ball hard. The ball knows when it’s been hit by Stokes. It will
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