< 1 minute readIf you’re wondering where we’ve been, we’ve unfortunately been too busy writing things to write things. One of these written distractions was about Rob Key. Cricinfo gave it the coveted midnight on a Friday slot at the top of the homepage, clearly of a mind that this would be perfect
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Robert Key, the ruddy-faced southern me
5 minute readThis article was first published on Cricinfo in April 2016, but they seem to have deleted it so we’re republishing it. For a fair few years, from the early Nineties onwards, there was a phenomenon in British newspapers where Australian opinions of England cricketers were given greater weight. Seasoned cricket
Continue readingThis is how you share a Rob Key picture with the world, you bloody idiots
2 minute readRob Key has retired. It is a sad day. We’re going to don a black cardigan instead of a beige one by way of mourning. We will wear it for 221 minutes in tribute to the number of runs Rob once made in a single Test innings. Adam Gilchrist’s highest
Continue readingPoints mean prizes
2 minute readOr, more accurately, points “may” mean a presentation ceremony (at which something would presumably be presented). This is the barely-reported story that England are looking to implement a points system for the two tours this summer, meaning an all-formats winner could be crowned for each. The Times ran something behind
Continue readingIs Gary Ballance back?
2 minute readIt’s a reference to a headline pun that’s overused on this website but which isn’t itself a pun. Jokes don’t come much weaker than that. Except for all our other ones. Is Gary Ballance back? Sport is brutally cold and England won’t go into the first Test of the summer
Continue readingJames Taylor has a literal heart problem
2 minute readIf James Taylor’s public pronouncements betray an admirable desire to retain a sense of humour about things, his retirement from cricket at the age of just 26 due to arrhythmogenic right ventricular arrhythmia is anything but funny. It’s easy to point to his having had a job as a professional
Continue readingEveryone knows that hitting four successive sixes is hard, right?
2 minute readWe’re just checking, only a great many people seem to be holding Ben Stokes entirely responsible for England’s defeat. Sometimes the player hitting the sixes has some sort of say in things too. Think of it like this: if you were a primitive human and you sent one of your
Continue readingWest Indies’ 2016 World T20 win: Fortunately for them, they weren’t playing cyborgs
2 minute readBen Stokes’ coolly outmanoevred Carlos Brathwaite at the death. Had the West Indian launched his attack earlier in the match, he could have hit six sixes in an over. As it was, he was denied by winning the World T20 after just four balls. Stokes is doubtless delighted. The desired
Continue readingEight things to bear in mind ahead of the World T20 final between England and the West Indies
2 minute readYou can call it a preview if you want, but it’s more of a disorderly fact-dump. 1. Windies’ spinners don’t go for owt Samuel Badree conceded 5.68 runs an over in this tournament. Sulieman Benn’s conceded 5.78. Hell, even Chris Gayle’s banged out three overs for 17 and we thought
Continue readingIf we start calling Jason Roy a ‘roybot’ do you think it’ll catch on?
< 1 minute readChris Jordan and Ben Stokes were the actual heroes for England, but this is Twenty20, so like everyone else, let’s instead turn our attention to Jason Roy – a batsman. Roy used both edges of his bat and quite often the middle. Crucially, he also abandoned the moronic belief that
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