2 minute readJust prior to the second Test, someone swapped England’s selectors’ supply of mogadon-laced Danish pastries for a batch of E-number laden kids’ snacks. Rumour has it they ate that unnerving stretchy cheese from the advert. We don’t know much, but we do know that cheese should never stretch without the
Continue readingCategory: England
Does anyone else feel like it’s the Nineties?
< 1 minute readTotally unpredictable team selection, a batting line-up that’s five-out all-out and a bowling attack that seems to spend its time waiting for the clouds to roll in and which is utterly ineffective otherwise. But it can’t be the Nineties, because the worry lines caused by English cricket of that era
Continue readingDarren Pattinson jumps the queue
< 1 minute readWe’ll give Darren Pattinson a chance, but… (1) It’s not being Australian that makes someone a good cricketer. Australia themselves leave out plenty of Australians from their Test side. (2) Trent Bridge, where Pattinson plays half his cricket, is kind to swing bowlers. (3) If Chris Tremlett is first reserve, then
Continue readingBrett Lee is a liar
< 1 minute readBrett Lee’s been caught out in an EVIL and WICKED lie. We always knew that genial smile concealed unparalleled deviousness: “We’ve got the Ashes coming up as well which we are not directly looking forward to right now because we have a few things in place that we have to
Continue readingAndrew Flintoff playing for England
< 1 minute readWe were hugely, hugely impressed with Graeme Smith and Neil McKenzie in the Lord’s Test. We don’t care what the pitch was like – just imagine coming out to bat after you’ve been so comprehensively trampled for three days. Imagine what would have happened to England in the same situation.
Continue readingMark Pougatch on TMS
< 1 minute readWe’ve nothing against Mark Pougatch personally, but he doesn’t bring a great deal to Test Match Special. It smacks of the Manish Bhasin debacle during the Ashes and the World Cup. On the plus side, at least he doesn’t sound like some throwback to the British Raj, unlike some of
Continue readingThe India itinerary – good and also rubbish
2 minute readEngland tour India over the winter. They play two Tests, which is clearly too few. They will also play seven one-day internationals, which is clearly a huge waste of everyone’s time. You can’t blame India. The last time England toured, the Test series was drawn while the one-dayers were so
Continue readingWhat could be better than Ian Bell’s 199?
< 1 minute readIan Bell’s innings of 199 against South Africa was better than waking up on a Saturday thinking it’s a Monday and then realising the truth. It was better than hearing the phone ring and picking it up only to hear a dialling tone. It was even better than being asleep.
Continue readingRavi Bopara does even more DIY
< 1 minute readIf you’re tired of updates about an indifferent Ravi Bopara helping to promote Nuts magazine via a National Shed Week PR stunt, then you might want to stop reading now. Because here’s Ravi standing outside a shed with his drill and his barbecue and also his rake: We’re hungry by
Continue readingKevin Pietersen likes an occasion
< 1 minute readThat was as good as a certainty, wasn’t it? Kevin Pietersen likes a big match. He must be driven by stomach butterflies or something. We’re not quite sure how that would work, because even our rudimentary scientific knowledge tells us that there aren’t actually butterflies in there. He went out
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