< 1 minute readMaybe just bowl at the stumps, eh? Surely by now you’ve realised that your team mates have tiny, rigid, Lego man hands with unbending fingers that can’t catch cricket balls. Give it up. They’re only going to let you down. Fidel Edwards took 4-53 today and could quite realistically have
Continue readingCategory: England
Ian Bell finds something amusing in the field
< 1 minute readThat’s the caption to this picture on Cricinfo. We’d rather this were a slip from a Cricinfo staff member, but we suspect it was done knowingly. Thanks to Sam for pointing this out, although we’re increasingly concerned by the frequency with which he sends Ian Bell pictures to us.
Continue readingRob Key – England opening batsman
< 1 minute readJust imagine the match announcer saying: “Opening the batting for England: Robert Key and someone else.” Because that’s what they’d say. They wouldn’t name the second batsman, because there would be NO POINT. The announcer has already given you all the information you could ever need: It’s England and it’s
Continue readingRavi Bopara: England number three
< 1 minute readWe like it. Let’s put some mundane banalities into bullet point format to in no way support that. Ravi Bopara Proper batsman who bats at three for his county One of the few batsmen in county cricket who you could consider to have been exceptional over the last few years
Continue readingTim Bresnan being in the England squad
< 1 minute readRumours that we kidnapped Geoff Miller’s family and told him we were going to force them to watch Eastenders constantly until he picked Tim Bresnan for England are well wide of the mark. Clearly we told him to pick Rob Key and clearly he ignored us. We released the Miller
Continue readingGraham Onions celebrates
< 1 minute readGraham Onions was called into the England squad today and he’s celebrated in fine style. It’s been debated whether runs scored at Taunton count as much, being as the pitch is famously so generous to batsmen. If that’s the case, what are wickets worth? Presumably more. We’ve also argued that
Continue readingMichael Vaughan’s paint thing
< 1 minute readYou’ll have heard of Michael Vaughan’s ‘artballing’ by now. He throws, hits and bowls paint-covered cricket balls against a canvas and what results is branded ‘art’. Vaughan took this up as part of his winter getting away from cricket. We’re not entirely sure whether this really counts as ‘getting away
Continue readingAndrew Strauss loses the Ashes
< 1 minute readWhy, Andrew? Why? Why do you say these things? Have you never watched a film? You’ve just turned yourself into the character who overlooks a minor detail in the first scene, unaware of the DIRE CONSEQUENCES your seemingly minor oversight will have. Strauss was speaking about how Australia’s Phillip Hughes
Continue readingAndrew Flintoff v Kevin Pietersen in the IPL
< 1 minute readThey hate each other. They just outright loathe each other. Everyone knows they never speak to each other EVER. Both players have been just busting for a chance to show that they’re the one that’s worth more millions than the other. It’s about status. It’s about money. It’s about who’s
Continue readingThe worst batsman in England
< 1 minute readThat Ian Bell, eh? Rubbish, isn’t he? First he cashes in on a flat deck at Taunton and expects everybody to be all impressed. Then he follows it up with another hundred against the same opponents, as if that’s somehow proving something. You can’t play against Somerset every week, Ian.
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