< 1 minute readWayne Parnell went for 37 off two overs yesterday. He conceded five in the first. In the second, Jos Buttler took him apart as if he were an old, rotten shed which had tried to have sex with his daughter. We’re not exactly sure how a shed would go about
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What are England and South Africa playing for tonight?
< 1 minute readAre they playing for pride, honour, a trophy? No! They’re playing for momentum. Going into the Twenty20 World Cup with this batting line-up, England will need as much momentum as they can get, because it rather feels like they’re about to roll into a brick wall rather than a little
Continue readingWhy we love Matt Prior
< 1 minute readRob Smyth is waxing lyrical about Matt Prior in The Spin, this week. We’re inclined to agree with him and not just because of Prior’s magnificent beard and love of cycling. Last week, we had a conversation with someone who has had a certain amount of contact with pretty much
Continue readingNo more one-day internationals in 2012
< 1 minute readEngland have thrived since changes to one-day internationals led to lower totals. There – that’s our slightly premature England v South Africa series review done and dusted. Now let’s move onto an odd fact: Wednesday’s match will be the final 50-over international of the year involving any nation. Okay, so
Continue readingEngland’s next opening batsman
< 1 minute readWe’d go for Nick Compton. He was born in Durban, so it would help Malcolm Conn be hilarious. Conn’s definitely a man abiding by our ‘repeat until funny’ rule when making jokes about England cricketers born in South Africa. He’s not got there yet. Another reason to go for Compton
Continue readingFeline reaction to Andrew Strauss’s retirement from cricket
< 1 minute readIn the highly unlikely event that we’ve picked up a new reader in the last year, we should say that we have a feature on this website entitled animals being conspicuously indifferent to cricket. Lemon Bella’s cats, StraussCat and Meowcus Trescattick, have appeared on several occasions and we’re honoured to
Continue readingReporting on Strauss and Pietersen
2 minute readIt’s interesting that so many people took yesterday’s post at face value. We’ll come clean: it is not our actual stance on the Pietersen issue. There are bits of it we might agree with to some extent, but for the most part it’s an extreme position we adopted in order
Continue readingAndrew Strauss’s captaincy style
2 minute readAndrew Strauss retires from cricket. If Nasser Hussain was ‘do as I say’ and Michael Vaughan was ‘relax and play how you want’ then Strauss was ‘for Christ’s sake, don’t do anything silly’. He was a bit establishment for our tastes and his interviews were even more bland and predictable
Continue readingStrauss skives with Pietersen still in limbo
< 1 minute readJohannesburg-born Andrew Strauss is to keep England’s star player in limbo a little while longer after controversially extending his family holiday rather than returning for much-needed clear-the-air talks. Kevin Pietersen was man of the match in the last Test he played and is keen to help secure victories for his
Continue readingStrauss and Pietersen enter relationship counselling
3 minute readA bland, featureless room. Kevin Pietersen and Andrew Strauss sit side-by-side facing a desk, behind which sits a relationship counsellor. Counsellor: So, what brings you here? Strauss: We’re having some issues with our relationship. Counsellor: Have you been together long? Strauss: A few years. Counsellor: Okay, well, the strain can
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