< 1 minute readWe don’t really buy into the concept of the dead rubber when it comes to Test matches. In a long one-day series, a situation can arise where bowlers are running in with a figurative cup of tea in one hand and a biscuit in the other (clasped awkwardly between two
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Australia, you have been sherminated
< 1 minute readWell that was – actually, what was that? It’s probably a bit early to be committing to specific words, so let’s not. England have won the Ashes. That’s a functional way of saying it. You can add your own emotions internally. England won every Test in which Ian Bell scored
Continue readingWhen every run matters
< 1 minute readWe’ve almost certainly written about this 12 times before, but cricket is at its best when the value of a run is greatest. A drop of rain is more gratefully received in the Outback than in the Lake District. It’s hard to judge what would be a decisive lead going
Continue readingFlattening stuff with Ian Bell
< 1 minute readWhen did Ian Bell turn into a big, relentless steamroller? He always used to be a two-seater sports car. He was sleek and flash, but entirely impractical when you came to do the big shop. These days he’s not just practical, he’s reliable as well. His big engine chunters away
Continue readingBatting stagnation’s not what you need
2 minute readOne of our greatest attributes is being annoying. One of the ways in which we achieve this is by inserting words ending in -ation into the Record Breakers theme tune instead of ‘dedication’. You can read the title again now, if you want – although we advise against it. Jonathan
Continue readingTinkering with spaghetti
2 minute readSo where does this leave us? Ashes retention is technically ticked off, but the series is not yet decided. Australia have returned to Test cricket and England have been a little bit disappointing in how they’ve responded to that. England’s bowling, Australia’s batting Young Australian batsmen like Chris Rogers and
Continue readingKevin Pietersen’s shambolic knee inhibits his prancing
< 1 minute readIf we had to use a word to describe Kevin Pietersen in the field, we’d use ‘prancing’. However, he hasn’t been prancing in this match. He’s been cumbersome. We also saw a photo of him running during one of the warm-ups and he was panting with neck flab caught mid
Continue readingEthereal watercolours and skittering Mekons
< 1 minute readThere was a bit more fast-medium today, or maybe we finally dropped to medium-fast. Either way, it was all a bit ethereal. There’s a point in every massive innings where everyone in the field’s just resigned themselves to things. It’s usually about 430. After that, you get a watercolour painting
Continue readingThe new Old Trafford
< 1 minute readDon’t know if you’ve heard, but they’ve tarted the place up. There’s lots of shiny surfaces now. The Point has been joined by a couple of other Point-like buildings, so it’s a bit like there’s a whole family of fan heaters trained on the pitch. We quite like the effect.
Continue readingEngland drop a giant and select AN EVEN MORE TERRIFYING GIANT
< 1 minute readWe’ve already done ‘Chris Tremlett’s back‘ once before. We’d hate to repeat ourself. England have dropped the grossly-overtall Steven Finn and have replaced him with a man of similar height but who also has arms the size of thighs hanging off the sides of some sort of oil-tanker-cum-torso. Then there’s
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