2 minute readRavi Bopara’s Test tour of Sri Lanka was complete toss, with innings of eight and 34 on his debut preceding a grim duck sandwich, with two golden ducks as the bread and an altogether meatier seven ball duck as filling. On that evidence, some people think they’ve seen the back
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Andrew Strauss murders Surrey
< 1 minute readAndrew Strauss hit 163 off 130 balls for Middlesex against Surrey in the Friends Provident Trophy yesterday. Strauss seems to have remembered what hundreds are and is now getting them in boundaries: 23 fours and four sixes equals 116. This isn’t great news for Rob Key, who even if a
Continue readingShane Bond highlights cricket’s self harm
< 1 minute readCricket’s short of fast bowlers these days. New Zealand are short of strike bowlers. The upcoming England v New Zealand series is short of stars. Shane Bond’s a fast strike bowler from New Zealand and is unquestionably one of the stars of international cricket. He’s in England right now, he’s
Continue readingWe have lots in common with Rob Key
< 1 minute read“I am a cricket nut. I used to drive up and down the country with Min Patel talking about cricket, cricket, cricket. Every shot, every ball, every field placing, we discussed it at length. I am always talking about cricket – I must be quite a dull fellow.” – Rob
Continue readingMark Ramprakash moves to 98
< 1 minute readThat’s 98 first-class hundreds, you understand. OBVIOUSLY he’s gone past a hundred in the match. And obviously he’s not out as well. He’s just returned to the crease and Lancashire’s bowlers will be drying their eyes. Mark Ramprakash has hit a hundred in each of his last three championship innings,
Continue readingLiam Plunkett wrestles with his conscience
< 1 minute readOnly his angelic side and his demonic side are BOTH cyclopic yellow bears. “Go and buy some honey, Liam.” “Don’t listen to him! Go and steal some honey.”
Continue readingRob Key and Joe Denly POWER UP
< 1 minute readRob Key’s Special Powers are already being passed on to Joe Denly. Kent’s opening pair started the season with a hundred apiece and an opening stand of 225. POWER UP! Whatever Leeds-Bradford UCCE threw at them, Key and Denly countered it with disdain. Harry Gurney: Countered with disdain! Richard Browning:
Continue readingRob Key suffers interminable torment at the hands of England’s selectors and coaches
< 1 minute read“I don’t expect tea and cakes with England selectors and coaches.” So don’t go round to their houses. Come to ours instead. We’ll look after you. We’ve got four different sorts of tea and we’ll make sure we get an even greater array of cakes in especially. We don’t really
Continue readingWill Jefferson, Nottinghamshire
< 1 minute readA lot of our better updates have been about Will Jefferson. This is partly why we’re watching him for the third season in a row. We’re mainly watching him like a child with no concept of what’s socially acceptable though; with our mouth agape, pointing and saying ‘why has that
Continue readingNick Compton, Middlesex
< 1 minute readWith his exotic upbringing, superior air and blonde looks, you’d be forgiven for thinking that Nick Compton wasn’t exactly our cup of tea. And you’d be right. We can’t really remember why we’ve included him now. We remember that there were a number of tricky decisions made when selecting this
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