< 1 minute readSickeningly wrong-handed purveyor of off-cutters, Nathan Bracken, has once again ended a one-day international with disgustingly flattering figures. Bracken took 5-46 as Sri Lanka were bowled out for just 125, chasing Australia’s 253. We’ve long since accepted that Nathan Bracken is a more-than-useful one-day bowler, but we don’t have to
Continue readingCategory: Australia
India, world Twenty20 champions, bat like pillocks
< 1 minute readWe’ve no problem branding professional cricketers as ‘pillocks’. That’s the kind of fearless reportage you get here at King Cricket. We’re not afraid to bandy strong words around. We’re not afraid to bandy anything, because we’re not totally sure what bandying entails. Irfan Pathan was the sole Indian batsman to
Continue readingNo bowling for Shaun Tait for a bit
< 1 minute readThis is bad news. We’d already earmarked Shaun Tait as Matthew Hayden’s successor in the role of ‘most detestably arrogant Australian’. With his face, his face and also his face, he had all the attributes to make the position his own for years to come. But he’s disappointingly fragile. He’s
Continue readingAdam Gilchrist’s career
3 minute readAustralia were the best side in the world before Adam Gilchrist was promoted to the Test side. Afterwards, they took on an air of invincibility. How can a side take the fifth Australian wicket and be faced with a batsman who middles the ball with his first stroke, throws the
Continue readingAustralia fail on a flat pitch
< 1 minute readFor years most Australian Test wickets have been flatter than a pancake ironed by an anal retentive with the world’s most accurate spirit level. Aussie batsmen have filled their boots knowing they had the bowlers to win a match on any surface. Last year, at Adelaide, there were two innings
Continue readingMatthew Hayden: the gift that keeps on giving
< 1 minute readOnly the gift is a poo in a box and it keeps jumping up and punching you in the face, leaving you bruised and faecal. Eventually the poo knocks you out, whereupon it steals all your money and forces you to dance naked in the car park at work in
Continue readingStuart Clark’s bowling average enters the realms of the credible
< 1 minute readThere’s no problem picking five bowlers when one hits 87 and another hits 63. There were some pretty expensive bowling figures knocking about after India finished their innings. Perhaps the nicest was Stuart Clark’s 0-92. Now we’ve nothing against Clark, but he shouldn’t be averaging under 20 with the ball.
Continue readingBrad Hogg bowling to Sachin Tendulkar
< 1 minute read“He hit my best ball for six,” Hogg said. Yes – and you get the impression that Sachin Tendulkar could quite easily hit any delivery he chooses for a boundary. He’s only holding back so that Hogg doesn’t get taken off. He and VVS Laxman got a bit carried away
Continue readingMatthew Hayden back for Australia
< 1 minute readThis is good news, because when he’s not playing he can’t fail and humiliate himself. We don’t think it’s any coincidence that he skived the match where India’s bowlers remembered how to swing the ball. Surprisingly, this is the first time our twin obsessions have appeared on the same day.
Continue readingQuotes about India beating Australia
< 1 minute readUncle J Rod at Cricket With Balls congratulates India but keeps a sense of perspective: “India must look at this win for what it is, a small step in the right direction, but many an explorer has fallen off a mountain. Even Sober.” The Atheist at Are You A Left-Arm
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