< 1 minute readIt’s difficult to escape the feeling that Andrew Symonds is being punished by Cricket Australia for just generally being a bit of a pillock. Symonds isn’t being selected for Australia’s upcoming tour of South Africa. It’s partly because he went on radio half-cut and called New Zealand’s Brendon McCullum ‘a
Continue readingAuthor: King Cricket
AB de Villiers in un-ace shocker
< 1 minute readYou all thought that AB de Villiers was ace at everything. He isn’t. Roscoe drew our attention to Show Them Who You Are, a single on which AB sings and plays guitar. Roscoe rather generously gave it 1/10. Apparently someone phoned up a South African radio station to tell them
Continue readingEngland beat Pakistan at the Oval
< 1 minute readNearly three years on and still they’re arguing about whether England ‘won’ via a Pakistan forfeiture or whether it was ‘match abandoned’. At best it’s splitting hairs. Everyone knows what it was: a balls-up. The match should be officially reclassified as such. Sport is of the moment. Except for a
Continue readingLendl Simmons continues a rich West Indian tradition
< 1 minute readLendl Simmons continues the rich West Indian tradition of having a first name to die for. Just think of the greats who’ve represented the islands: Curtly, Tino, Reon and Vasbert. Our own personal favourite is ‘Wavell’. There’s a great way to test how good a first name is; you simply
Continue readingThanks for stopping our website from seizing up in our absence
< 1 minute readWe massively enjoyed reading about the cutting of dangling seatbelts by stalkers and the breaking of greenhouses with airborne gnomes on our return. We were also relieved to see that some of you took the trouble to point out news that we’d missed in the full knowledge that we weren’t
Continue readingAlways watch the ball
< 1 minute readOn no account stand six feet away from the stumps and watch the blimp instead. Canny bowlers will take advantage.
Continue readingAndrew Strauss miscomprehends Law 41.3
< 1 minute readThe batting side only gets five penalty runs added to their total when the ball hits a helmet belonging to the fielding side. You can’t just repeatedly play the ball into your own face and hope to win a match.
Continue readingStanford Twenty20 match report
2 minute readWe probably should have published this nearer the time when the whole undercutting of the PR hoopla via profound disinterest made more sense. Never mind. Just imagine that it’s Stanford week and you’re sick of it. Miriam writes: The big day started in a bit of a rush as we
Continue readingRicky Ponting’s match-fixing shame
< 1 minute read“So one thing I always do is I gotta run myself out early on – it’s much more fun being an Andrew Symonds or someone.” Don’t fear, people. Ponting is talking about playing Ricky Ponting Pressure Play on the PSP, which is known as Brian Lara Pressure Play in the
Continue readingNew logo for the Gloucestershire Gladiators
< 1 minute readGloucestershire’s players are ACTUAL GLADIATORS. Who knew? We always thought Jon Lewis looked more like a musketeer, but what do we know? Gloucestershire’s PR bod, Stephanie Keene, said: “We recognised that our nickname provided the club with a fantastic opportunity to link with the powerful images synonymous with the historic
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