< 1 minute readMitchell Starc’s been sent for an operation. Apparently, he’s been suffering with bone spurs for months. It’s very hard to keep track of injuries to Australian bowlers, but we think that he joins Pat Cummins and Jackson Bird on the sidelines. We presume Ryan Harris is injured as well, although
Continue readingAuthor: King Cricket
Why are we goading Tlaloc?
< 1 minute readYou see what happens? You see what happens? This is what happens. This is what happens when you goad Tlaloc, the Aztec rain god who loves Test cricket. Tlaloc has really been looking forward to the series between New Zealand and England, but then he found out about the schedule
Continue readingShikhar Dhawan and his moustache
< 1 minute readOur facial hair says ‘couldn’t be bothered shaving’. Shikhar Dhawan’s says ‘I take enormous pride in my moustache’. Hair can build up like limescale or mould or it can be something you cultivate and tend to like a flower. Dhawan’s moustache reminds us of a possibly apocryphal story we heard
Continue readingWhat to expect from Stuart Broad
< 1 minute readExpectations are a funny thing. A great film trailer guarantees a disappointing film. Far better to keep expectations low. That’s our philosophy. Promise nothing and then deliver half of something to semi-grateful murmurs of: “Oh, it’s not as bad as I expected.” After several years of promise and a number
Continue readingPhil Hughes Watch
< 1 minute readA quick update on how Phil Hughes is doing against India’s spinners. He really kicked on today, scoring two whole runs. This means that Hughes has now been dismissed five times in his last 70 balls against spin, scoring two runs in that time. That’s 0.4 runs per dismissal at
Continue readingAustralia’s tour picks up
< 1 minute readA great result for Australia today with the first day’s play being a complete washout. It didn’t stop them making the one decision needed for them to commit to a playing eleven though. “We went with what we perceive to be our two specialist spinners.” Does that mean that they
Continue readingNew Zealand opt to bowl and then bowl
< 1 minute readSome believe that Brendon McCullum’s decision to bowl in Wellington was partly as a result of his decision to bat and then bowl on the first morning of a Test against South Africa at the start of the year. If so, he’s an idiot. The other alternatives are (1) that
Continue readingAre Australia’s cricketers basically just children?
< 1 minute readThis is the impression we’re getting. ‘Come up with three ways in which we can improve’ People keep using the word ‘homework’ and it’s because of the way the task was given to the players. It’s the kind of school assignment where the level of difficulty has been carefully gauged
Continue readingOur three-point plan for improving Australia’s Test performances in India
< 1 minute readIf Shane, Mitch, James and Usman won’t bother, we will. 1. Bat Michael Clarke down the order We suggest at number six or even at number seven. As well as protecting the captain from India’s dangerous new ball bowlers, this will also help conserve his strength. He needs all the
Continue readingAustralian cricket somehow manages to become even more embarrassing
< 1 minute readAnd you thought something couldn’t be simultaneously depressing and hilarious. Australia have dropped four cricketers for failing to deliver a presentation. The modern world just got worse, but so did Australian cricket. The good news for Australia is that Shane Watson didn’t injure himself attempting to operate a computer keyboard.
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