Posted by God this is complicated.
There’s been a Michael Vaughan-fuelled brouhaha in Australia this week about how a bunch of Australia players had a conversation about Justin Langer in a pub.
Speaking on Fox Cricket’s Follow-On podcast, Vaughan said that two English journalists were sitting in a pub in Hobart and overheard Pat Cummins, Mitchell Starc, David Warner, and Andrew McDonald discussing Langer.
“My advice to Pat Cummins would be, if you’re going to have strong conversations and have conversations about the potential removing of your Australian cricket coach – who was in position at the time – don’t do it in a pub,” said Vaughan.
You can see what he’s saying. But you can also see a situation where a bunch of colleagues go to the pub together and what? Are they just going to not talk about their boss who’s driving them all nuts? Like the main thing they all have in common? They’re not going to talk about that? They’re going to discuss the themes of Midnight Mass or the merits of veganism instead? No way. They’re going to talk about that fella who, despite his good intentions, is an elite tool.
It wasn’t like some nefarious covert meeting because, (1) according to McDonald up to 10 different people were involved at any one time and they were all coming and going; and (2) they were in a pub.
We just don’t see how you go to the pub with your workmates and avoid talking about your boss. So the crime, presumably, is going to the pub together.
EXCEPT…
Do you not remember, “Disgraced Smith a sad sight drinking alone in New York“?
This was a headline that came about when Steve Smith was spotted having a swift on his tod back in 2018.
Clearly the main thing Smith did wrong on that occasion was go to the pub on his own. So which is it? You can’t do either? You can’t go to the pub on your own and you can’t go with other cricketers?
How are Australian cricketers supposed to go to the pub?
If Michael Vaughan takes a position on something, my immediate assumption is: that’s the wrong position.
As such, I think Australian players should loudly and frequently slag off their support staff in all hostelries. Lambast a physio in a wine bar. Berate a statistician in a tap room. Scathingly discuss a fitness guru in a beer garden.
Missed opportunity to use codewords, really. Langer could have been traffic, say.
-How was the traffic today?
-Christ mate, it was unbelievably annoying
-I really hate traffic
-When traffic starts using the word elite it makes me want to chew my own arms off
That kind of thing. Foolproof.
“Sorry I’m late, lads… got stuck at traffic (e)lites after training.”
‘A Michael Vaughan-fuelled brouhaha’
There’s a bar in Haringay called the Brouhaha Bar.
I have nothing else to add.