Alastair Cook still proving people wrong

1. i liked the bit where they said their names

2. Hmm, this article is ok, but not as good as anything by Andy Zaltzman. Why can you not be funnier? D-, must try harder.

   1. The irony of those comments is that Andy Zaltzman is probably the only Cricinfo reader who actually does find us funny.

   2. Irony of what comments?

   3. The ones like the one you made above.

      We presumed it was a parody. Clearly we were wrong.

   4. clearly.

3. “and made faces at me and Broady like we were thick of something”

   This may have been a typo but I’m just going to assume Bell has an amusing lisp from now on.

4. I liked it, but judging by the comments you have failed to bait the cricinfo readers into leaving negative comments.
   By this measure it’s not up to your usual standards.
   D-, must try harder

5. I’m always impressed by the one who reads the headline, doesn’t read the article and then criticises the headline.

   Is it you?

6. I didn’t like the way Kieswetter’s name was revealed.

   Does this count as stinging criticism?

   1. We’re stung by any form of criticism, so yes.

      Although we do agree with you. It’s clumsy.

7. I’m not a massive fan of the picture caption. And by that I mean I don’t like it. At all.

   But then I hate all pictures with Mick Hucknall in them

   1. We don’t do the headlines or captions.

      Just saying.

8. I once wrote the lyrics for a musical version of Casablanca, the finale of which was entitled The Ouagadougou Choo Choo. It brought the house down – well, actually the theatre was fire-bombed shortly after that show closed.

   Anyway, I don’t think I have seen the name Ouagadougou used in a comical context since – until now – well done, KC.

   1. A musical version of Casablanca, eh? This one is probably shorter than yours, and almost certainly takes much more effort in making the lines scan. At least the tune is obvious, though.

      A chap called Richard Blaine
      Ran the Americain
      In white tux and black tie
      Everyone called the bar Rick’s Place
      And time went by.

      Ugarte had some letters
      He’d obtained from his betters
      But he was soon to die
      He’d left them in the bar with Ricky
      And time went by

      These letters they would let
      Those holding them to get
      Onto a plane to fly
      Across the sea away from Europe
      And time went by

      Then Ilsa came with Vic
      Which hurt our dear old Rick
      And made him question why
      She’d chosen his gin joint to walk in
      And time went by

      When Rick had lived in France
      He’d had a fine romance
      With this bird who had caught his eye
      But then she’d buggered off and left him
      And time went by

      It turned out she’d been wed
      To a man she guessed was dead
      But who was in fact alive
      While she was getting hers from Ricky
      The filthy slapper

      So Ilsa went to Rick’s
      To see if she could fix
      A ticket to the sky
      For her and hero husband Victor
      And time went by

      Sam played a tune she knew
      That he knew to eschew
      Because it made Rick cry
      And no-one said “Play it again, Sam”
      As the entire film went by.

      Then Rick and Ilsa planned
      To leave Vic in the sand
      Although he’d probably die.
      Ilsa was too soft-focussed to think straight
      And time went by

      They went to the airstrip
      But somebody had tipped
      The Germans off so they arrived.
      Rick shot the Nazi major Strasser
      For whom time stopped going by

      “The problems of us three
      Aren’t worth a hill of beans”
      Rick said as Ilsa cried
      He gave the stuff to her and Victor
      And waved goodbye.

      Renault saw Rick had shot
      Strasser but he did not
      Want to arrest the film’s main guy.
      He rounded up some usual suspects
      And time went by.

      Then Rick and Renault met
      And walked to the sunset
      With yet another memorable line:
      “I think this might be the start of a beautiful friendship”
      And that was that

   2. Heroic.

9. Are you parading around as Morse KC?

10. Does anyone know if the Sommerset game is being telecast?

11. The Dis-prover isnt the only superhero we have!
    we also got the “Frustrator” – how the commentators, umpires & bowlers loath him.
    the all mighty window crashing “Glove Cannon”
    & The oddly named “Chin” whos only superpower isnt actually his chin but a dance move

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