AB de Villiers slowly coming to terms with Test retirement

1. I’m officially making myself unavailable for the second ODI in India tomorrow.

   Beyond that, who knows.

   1. We’re also unavailable. We’ve got to do that Twitter thing for Cricinfo, plus Cricket Badger.

      When’s the one after that? Sunday?

      Again, probably not. We’re working Saturday, so Sunday’s the full extent of our weekend. Don’t really want to spend it flying to and from India when there’s a decent chance we won’t even make the XI.

      1. At the rate at which the players are asking to skip Ireland, you both may be needed at the County Ground on May 5th. Be ready.

      2. [Dons sweatband]

   2. It’s the passivity of the language that amuses me – making oneself unavailable for selection. What’s wrong with just saying, “I’ve decided that even though I’m sure to be picked, I don’t want to play.” Everybody knows that’s what it means, that it’s some sort of code to imply that the player is sufficiently brilliant but charmingly modest with it.

      In future, any player who wishes to make himself unavailable for selection should be actually forced to do just that – by committing to something that cannot subsequently be avoided. Like joining the army, or being parachuted into the middle of the Sahara. There must be no way whatsoever that the player can undo his decision for that match.

      “After much reflection, I have decided to make myself unavailable for selection for the upcoming tour by electing to have an unnecessary heart and lung transplant.”

2. If a clone is created who is half-ABD and half-AlastairCook, then we would have either an all-format record breaking batsman or someone who has made himself unavailable for all formats.

   1. A kind of Schrodinger’s bat?

3. Rachael Heyhoe Flint has died, sadly – frankly she deserved to become a Baroness for her name alone. Top lass.

4. Isn’t he coming back to test cricket against India?

5. I believe that Andy Caddick remains available for selection.

   He spends much of his time doing odd jobs at home, hoping that a call from the selectors will once again come, so he can stop (for example) putting up shelves and pack his kit bag once again.

6. Greetings all subjects of Kingcricketland, I have some exciting news for you all.

   My colleague’s back!

   As in, she’s off work for the rest of this week and possibly longer, due to a chronic but as yet unexplained pain affecting her erector spinae muscle group. She’s not returned or anything. It sounds quite awful in fact. Everyone here is worried.

   I hope that after several unsuccessful attempts, I have finally got the formula for this popular KC in-joke correct, and that you are all currently ROFL-ing (except my colleague, of course, who is probably ROFCIEA (crying in extreme agony).

   1. But she will of course be comforted by the fact that her pain has been used to such humorous effect with some strangers on the internet.

   2. I hope for her sake an acute problem (with the hope of relatively rapid recovery) rather than a chronic condition, such as ankylosing spondylitis.

      http://www.diffen.com/difference/Acute_vs_Chronic

      Ged’s back…as in, returned…in top form for competitive pedantry and using the Vaughnian third person masterfully.

      Ged hasn’t got ankylosing spondylitis or anything.

      1. Mike’s back.

         As in, Ged’s got it. I’ve never really been away or anything.

      2. Justin Timberlake makes a lot more sense now after years of reading this site.

      3. We’d be interested to know why.

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