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Sam writes…

A Tuesday evening, BBC Two, post-watershed. A moody black-and-white picture of a solemn-looking Johnson.

Fear not, smutty-minded readers, I shall not continue any further down this road.

I speak, of course, about Laura Kuenssberg’s comprehensive documentary on the slow motion car crash which is the UK’s modern political system.

As you can see, the clown/maverick (delete as appropriate) at the centre of it all has a Spartan bat propped against a wall in his office.

Upon further inspection, the axe appears to be in decent nick. Markings near the sweet spot suggest it has been recently used, perhaps on a disobedient civil servant’s calves, or to pop open a champagne bottle at another ‘Wine Time Friday’ Downing Street gathering.

The rubber on the handle seems to be three different colours, perhaps reflecting BoJo’s propensity to change his views according to the wind of public opinion. He plays to the left, he plays to the right, that Boris Johnson, his political leadership is etc and so on.

(That’s enough satire for now – Ed.)

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