A Rob Key themed cryptic crossword

1. Oh, for goodness’ sake.

   I’m not even going to try.

2. Should be the finest Rob Key themed cryptic crossword I encountered today…

   …IS the finest Rob Key themed cryptic crossword I encountered today.

3. What do you mean answers will follow at some point. Do I have to solve the bloody thing as well as writing it? I thought the very least you all could do would be to fill in the answers.

4. i have IronAgeDoor for 13 across, that doesn’t seem right

   1. Stick with that thought, thesaurusrus. It’s nowhere near the right answer but it might prevent further thinking, which is for the best.

5. Neil Wagner, another favourite of this site – and long may he continue to play – has taken a plusquamnelsonian 11/111 on début for Lancs.

   Is there a public or historical figure for whom the quintuple single digit fits the bill, in a way that Horatio the one-armed unipedal monoculus so distinctively achieved the triplicate?

   1. Horatio Nelson was inaccurately reported to be a uniped; both his legs were in tact. Whether Nelson ended up with some other body part in mono despite an initial endowment in stereo, is lost in the mists of time.

      <a href="http://www.espncricinfo.com/south-africa-v-australia-2011/content/story/540090.html"The plusquamnelsonian incident of all time was almost certainly this one.

      I think the easiest was to solve your specific question, BailOut, is for us to hereafter always refer to 11/111 as a Wagner.

      “He’s gone for a Wagner” has a good solid feel about it, as a cricket expression.

      1. Darn you, King Cricket for taking away our HTML guide.

         Darn myself for missing the > after the second “.

         This link should work instead. It really, really should.

      2. How was I unaware of this piece of numerology?

         That’s AMAZ1111111111111NG.

6. Does anyone need a clue? I mean an extra clue, obviously. Everyone who does a crossword needs a clue, several clues in fact, otherwise it’s just an exercise in filling in letters in a box. Anyway, here is a clue. Those not requiring this clue should not read it. Those unsure about whether they need it or not should read it and decide, and then try to forget it if necessary.

   The key, as it were, is the word “key”. There are 16 uses of the word in the clues, with five separate meanings (plus a couple with no real meaning at all). Capitalisation doesn’t help determine which meaning is which, partly to add a further layer of veils, partly because I didn’t do it all correctly. One of the meanings is a very crosswordy one, very commonly seen in cryptics as a clue for a letter.

   There, that must have helped.

   1. Well, I sort of finished it, Bert, with the exception of the Ironagedoor although my answer to 17 across seems highly unlikely. At least I tried.

      1. Surely you remember The Greatest Post.

      2. Well, i had 14 down wrong so i had ‘puffbirds’ as a guess. All sorted now and i even got the correct answer for ironagedoor, lol

7. Off-topic, but Jake Ball took 6/92 vs Lancs on a not-particularly-friendly wicket (yes, Wagner was positively Wagnerian, but Ball appears from the scorecard to have been the best of the England-qualified bowlers in a match featuring JM Anderson and SCJ Broad).

8. Sam Robson. 331 runs in the match for once out, and counting.

   Form!

   1. I was there for the first hundred, ladies and gents. I was there.

      1. …and I was there to see both Robson and Trott bring up their double-hundreds.

         I haven’t seen very many of those in my whole life, so to see two in one day was great.

         Charley “the Gent” reminded me that we were there to see Ian Ronald Bell get close but no cigar in a test match way back when.

         I also have a vague feeling that I saw both Bell and Trott get very big scores in a CC match at HQ a few years ago.

         What is it with these Brummy boys and Lord’s, Sam?

      2. …I meant of course two double hundreds in one match, not in one day. Robson Monday, Trott Tuesday.

         Today is Wednesday.

         Need my meds again, Thursday.

      3. They are inspired by the memories of all those one-day cup finals in the glorious ’90s.

   2. His little brother saw Leics home to a 10 wicket (count ’em!) victory. Along with some cast-off from Lancs.

      Robson/Robson to open if Cook can’t cope with his new helmet?

      1. Trott can’t cope with the new helmet either. His double-ton should be scratched from the records and Middlesex should be deemed winners of that epic battle at Lord’s.

9. Absolute scenes at Lords: Tim Ambrose bowling filth and Jonathan Trott keeping wicket.

   If this doesn’t pack ’em in, nothing will.

   1. Wicket!

      Voges goes!

      Tim Ambrose!

      Shove it up your arse!

      1. We have been known to park in the Church of St Mary and St Ambrose on the Pershore Road, when visiting the Edgbaston test. When was little Tim beatified and canonised, Sam – you must know.

         Strangely, while Googling for that Church just now, I came across this Church of St Ambrose in Speke. Personally, as far as St Ambrose is concerned, I can Edgbaston…

         …but I can’t Speke.

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