A cricket sign

1. I noticed that the tab header for King Cricket changed in order to boast coverage of “England vs Sri lanka Test series” several weeks ago.

   Now, there was a post on Malinga being called back from the IPL, which was sort of tangentally related to said series, but still never mentioned the Tests.

   I wonder how long this barefaced lie will go on. Not even posts about vaguely amusing signs can make me ignore the mocking tab header any more.

   It mocks me with its blatant lies that I am powerless to do anything about.

   1. The homepage title refers to the next thing we honestly give a shit about.

      England v Sri Lanka posts will start to appear before too long.

2. I always thought it was about SEO.

   1. We prefer the term “SE… WHOOOOOOAAAH!”

3. A few years ago I was Professor of Hieroglyphics and Other Vandalism at the University of Barnsley, so this should be no trouble.

   The first symbol is clearly indicating “straight on” or “straight”, or something like that.

   The second symbol is very much a man, but I think there is the sense that this individual man represents all men. That he is walking indicates movement, and the direction of the walk is, in heraldic terms, approaching the reader. So “men approaching”, or something very similar.

   The third symbol is simplest of all. In the game of cricket, seeing something like this would very much be “out”. So I think there is no doubt about that one.

   So what do we have?

   Straight
   Men Coming
   Out

   Straight Men Coming Out

   Straight Men Coming Out

   SEO.

   1. Professor Bert makes the elementary mistake of reading the symbol left to right. A common mistake, even among the knowledgeable. This symbol, like many of its masonic counterparts, is to be read right to left. It is well known that many masonic mathematicians (like Hardy, for instance) were keen cricketers, and throughout the nineteenth and twentieth centuries left countless carefully shielded cricketing symbols that are rich in meaning. They also left these at prominently public places like parks and bus stations, common enough for the lay person to ignore. This one, for instance, is not that difficult to decipher. The stumps on the right crudely resemble the word “I’ll”. The apostrophe is to be suppressed so it reads “Ill”, followed by the human symbol “Man”, and lastly comes “T”, albeit with a crooked hat. Put everything together and you get the phonetically suggestive “IllManT”.

4. I thought it was usually good form to walk when your furniture’s been rearranged. Apparently now though the players are getting so dense they need to be told where the pavillion is once they’re out.

5. The sign reads: “if you want to go to heaven when you die, bowl full, inswinging stuff to the right-handers”.

   Simples.

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