Posted by In the highly unlikely event that we’ve picked up a new reader in the last year, we should say that we have a feature on this website entitled animals being conspicuously indifferent to cricket.
Lemon Bella’s cats, StraussCat and Meowcus Trescattick, have appeared on several occasions and we’re honoured to be able to present their verdict on Andrew Strauss’s retirement from cricket.
Lemon Bella writes:
This is how StraussCat took the news of his namesake’s retirement:
Reliable and steadfastly predictable in his conspicuous indifference, he simply focused on that particularly itchy, hard-to-reach bit. I salute him for his years of indifferent achievement and will allow him to retire with the grace befitting such a loyal servant
Meowcus Trescattick, on the other hand, was worringly interested in this news:
Look at him! Look at how perky and intrigued he is!
We may have to look look elsewhere for indifference from now on, because this is clearly the sort of cat who might develop an opinion about Jonny Bairstow.
Similar deliveries:
Cat renounces indifference to cricket
StraussCat being conspicuously indifferent to Graeme Smith’s retirement
Strauss being conspicuously indifferent to Strauss’s selection ahead of Owais Shah for England’s final warm-up match before the first Test against New Zealand
Strauss being conspicuously indifferent to Strauss’s omission
Yeah. Much better.
Do I see gramophone records on display behind StraussCat?
How quaint.
And a solid collection of modern cricketing tomes.
Yes indeed there are both gramophone records and a large collection of cricket books behind him there. And a carpet in need of a hoover.
It seems remarkable that you can see anything behind StraussCat. He is a bit, er… well he’s a lot actually.
But it’s good to hear from the cat world’s 2005 Ashes winning opening partnership again, and their guardian and provider of plenty food. Without their astute indifference I’ve been forced to take an opinion on too many things recently, which has led to trouble.
(Quiet question though LB – Has MT got any back legs? Or is he in one of those contraptions you see occasionally. And if so, who thought that one single 2ft long leg with no wheel on it was good enough?)
Hey! He’s just fluffy that’s all. And fat.
He does have back legs, although I feel it’s only a matter of time before I find myself owning a cat with a prosthesis. I shall call it Oscar Purrstorious.
The world will become a better place on that day, LB. Genius.
I seem to have missed a lot of action on this site over the last couple of days – I was busy moving to Arizona from Canada. On the plus side, the sun almost roasted me alive in a 2 hour walk today that was supposed to be fourteen minutes. I had great Mexican food though.
So Strauss retired, huh?
I saw an episode of “Must Love Cats” recently where they had a cat that had been involved in an accident with some farm machinery and lost his back legs, but a vet had created little bionic back legs for him that fused onto the cat’s own bones. That cat was called Oscar! But, he was called Oscar before his accident / bionic-legs, not because of them.
Are animals uniquely conspicuously indifferent to cricket, or to sport in general?
What are the opinions of Meowguel Indurain and Pawrent Furgnon on this year’s Vuelta, for example?
If we had enough readers on that site, we’d try and find out.
I think Meowcus Trescattick might simply be contemplating a play for those car keys, rather than an interest in cricket.
Or perhaps he has been Mankatted by Moggili Katik.