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Nothing? No comments whatsoever? Have you all got social lives all of a sudden or something? Oh dear Lord, have you MET UP WITH EACH OTHER?
That’s it, isn’t it? You’ve met up with each other. You’ve all renounced the internet and you’ve met up with each other in REAL LIFE.
You’ve met in real life and you’ve built relationships and now you don’t need this mouldy corner of the internet to get you through the day any more. You’ve all got lives and friends and interests.
Jesus. We knew this would happen one day. It’s like that primary school disco all over again.
Suddenly you all want to go and dance to Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now by Starship and we’re standing alone at the back of the room and all we can do is get another hot dog from the hatch.
They serve boiled cabbage from that hatch during the day – boiled cabbage that arrives at the school in a big steel container midway through the morning from God knows where. Boiled cabbage that no-one eats apart from Thomas and that kid from three years below. And now we’re eating a hot dog we’ve got through that same hatch and you’re all off having fun. Actual fun. To Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now by Starship.
We’re alone with our hot dog and no amount of ketchup can disguise the bland-yet-foul taste. At this moment, as you all point and jig in your Bermuda shorts, we know that this is how life’s going to be for us. We know that in some way we’re always going to be at the back of the room enduring a low quality frankfurter in a cheap white finger roll while everyone else writhes ecstatically in the dry ice and multicoloured lights.
At least we got paid for those articles.
Who said you could have a second hotdog, spotty?
I’m sorry, read them both but had no comment
Yes, we met. Hayley from The Barmy Army was there. She was really pretty and bought us drinks (splendid, well kept ale) and gave us England replica shirts. Mine says Collingwood on the back.
Hey everybody! Come and have a look at this new royalist cricket-themed website that I’ve found. It’s like so totally better than this one. They had a great article yesterday about made-up slow cricket matches – it was hilarious. Loads of people made really great comments about it, like thirty or fifty or so. And there’s a big discussion about how great it is to have loads of friends from primary school still in touch.
Everyone who used to hang out here is hanging out there now, apart from that weird lad with the hot dog obsession (you’ll be glad to know).
Her name’s egg monroe, she’s ol……
Oh, sorry, wrong website……and, err, decade.