Chris Woakes’s back, Jack Leach’s back, James Anderson isn’t – three obvious talking points from day one of Pakistan v England

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England did really well last time they toured Pakistan. Now they’re back without their captain or any of the quick bowlers who did well in that series.

Chris Woakes’s back

As in ‘returned’. He hasn’t got ankylosing spondylitis or anything.

When England toured and won in 2022, they used four quick bowlers.

  • James Anderson took eight wickets at 18.50
  • Mark Wood took eight wickets at 20.37
  • Ollie Robinson took nine wickets at 21.22
  • Ben Stokes took one wicket at 124.00

Since then, Anderson has been invited to retire; Wood is injured; and Robinson has been deemed unreliable and kind of a prick.

While Stokes’ performances were shaped by the fact he was in the middle of that, “Maybe I’m fit to bowl. Oh wait, no, turns out I’m not,” phase of his career, he isn’t actually in better shape now, despite having since had knee surgery. Plus ca change etc.

The upshot of all of this is that England’s quick bowling has become a lot more watchable in this first Test. ‘Watchable’ is of course not the same as ‘effective’.

As well as the guy who’d never played a Test overseas and the guy who’d never played a Test at all, there is ‘attack leader’ Chris Woakes. Welcome to the world of TOMORROWWWW!

Woakes has been poor overseas for many a year. As far back as 2019, his reputation was already sufficiently well cemented that he was resorting to growing a beard in a bid to persuade people he could still surprise. (At least that was our reading of that development.)

A year later, we concluded that he was basically at the mercy of circumstance, waiting for rest, rotation or retirement to create a new ball vacancy if he ever wanted to be in England’s first-choice overseas XI again.

And lo it came to pass!

Jack Leach’s back

As in ‘returned’. He hasn’t got ankylosing spondylitis or anything.

The real downside of being the kind of player who’s in and out of the Test team is the ‘out’ part. There is however also an upside, which is that you’re quite often in again.

Not so many years ago, Jack Leach was England’s first-choice spinner and yet he barely ever got a game. Then he was the first-choice spinner who did get a game. Then he had a stress fracture, then he had knee surgery, at which point first Tom Hartley and then Shoaib Bashir did well in his stead.

Bashir is still ahead of him in the pecking order and yet here we are, England are playing a Test, and there’s Jack Leach, bowling more overs than anyone.

Jimbo and the jet set

You’ll no doubt have seen the news that James Anderson, who is now England’s bowling consultant, has been playing a golf tournament and isn’t actually in Pakistan yet. He’s due to fly in halfway through the first Test.

The news has gone down doubly badly given England have found themselves in more of an old fashioned Pakistan Test, rather than one of these new fangled ones where wickets sometimes fall.

Brendon McCullum tried to claim Anderson’s absence as a “combined decision”. (Presumably the kind where England sigh and decide it’ll have to be fine unless they want to offer Jimmy a permanent job). McCullum then somewhat brazenly tried to minimise the impact by saying, “We live in a world where you can still communicate without being face to face.”

While the idea of Jimmy coaching by WhatsApp attracted predictable mockery before the match, it seemed a lot less ridiculous halfway through the day – because honestly how hard is it to interpret a shrug and the words “I dunno, maybe give Harry Brook a couple of overs?”

Kudos too to Anderson for his decision-making here. It’s not the worst move to keep your distance from a lost toss on this Multan pitch when trying to build a reputation as a bowling coach.

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One comment

  1. I’m not saying that this test match is a dull watch. But I am reporting to you that it was Daisy who suggested putting the TV on this morning and it is Daisy who is still in bed with the TV on…

    …quite possibly sleeping.

    Ged would not have remembered to put the TV on and managed only about 10 minutes before getting bored.

    Ged did enjoy the commentary on the product placement of mobile phones taking selfies in the crowd. That was definitely the best bit. Not quite as good as David Gower’s reluctant-sounding commentary on the tea-drinking last time around – that was classic “duty-fulfilling script-reading on air”.

    Great to see the ankylosing spondylitis gag in context again, KC. So good you used it twice. I would have done a back-somersault in celebration, but for my own brand of back-knack.

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