Spraying, inactivity, bouncebackability + more – 5 things to watch out for when England play the West Indies this week

3 minute read

There was a maudlin quality to the closing stages of the first Test between England and the West Indies, but the sun is out, another Test is about to begin and there is much to look forward to.

1. England absolutely pissing away the new ball

This is quite unlikely to happen – Chris Woakes isn’t known for spraying it about – but at some point soon, England will once again absolutely piss away the new ball. This is very exciting.

England absolutely pissing away the new ball was such a formative cricket experience for us, it feels bizarre that we have gone so long without it. Sure, there have been sub-par opening spells and James Anderson frequently started off a little wide before inching towards the stumps, but it has been many a year since we have heard Special Correspondent Dad shout “Make them play!” as both opening bowlers absolutely pissed away the new ball.

If you are young enough that you never saw Anderson top 90mph and at times wang it way down leg, brace yourself for some very strong emotions when England’s bowling attack eventually reverts to what it used to do best.

2. A warmer Windies

It’s so sad to see the West Indies struggling to compete with mighty England. They’re so unutterably terrible at Test cricket these days, they may not even manage to retain the Botham-Richards Trophy that they currently hold.

A decent warm-up or actually playing any kind of volume of first-class cricket since January might have helped them, of course. But the first Test will have warmed them a degree or two and the Nottingham weather also promises to be be a step up from the cold air and dank skies of Lord’s last week.

Plus…

3. Shamar Joseph (or not)

To uncover evidence of the West Indies’ bouncebackability, we have to go all the way back to the historic year of 2024, when Shamar Joseph delivered an almost-perfect cricket moment when securing the team’s first Test victory in Australia since 1997.

On that occasion, they’d lost the first Test by 10 wickets – but they’d been written off long before then, having picked seven uncapped players in their squad.

One of those was Joseph, who promptly dismissed Steve Smith with his first ball in Test cricket. Joseph is only ‘probably fine’ at the time of writing, having experienced a few hamstring issues in the first Test.

4. Shoaib Bashir possibly doing something

With no overs, no runs and no catches in the first Test, Shoaib Bashir is, as they say, “due”.

Alternatively, is it possible he could he play an entire Test summer without contributing anything other fielding – a sort of 11th man role, if you will?

5. Mark Wood

With no shortage of pace, England’s exciting young quick (Wood will still only be in his mid-30s for the next Ashes) is always worth watching.

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