Posted by You’re an England player. You’ve won the Ashes. You get in touch with your agent:
“Commercial opportunities. What have you got for me?”
Your agent’s silent a minute and you can hear him shuffling some papers on his desk.
“Hello. Are you there? Commercial opportunities. What have you got?”
Your agent clears his throat and says: “Er… belts?”
Matt Prior clearly did some DAMN GOOD WORK on this photo shoot, but Stuart Broad seems to be a rank amateur, so they made him say some stuff as well:
“I absolutely love the Druh Belts range and the colours are just amazing. They’re perfect to wear on a casual night out with jeans or with chinos and a jacket for a more formal look that is just a bit different.”
Everyone loves chino-friendly belts.
I’ve just bought 10
10 Stuart Broads? What you going to with them?
This re-make of Twins is going to be terrible.
What you going to with them? A Stuart Broad fancy dress party?
This re-make of only fools and horses is going to be terrible.
Erasure are looking rough these days.
Hmmmm, what to do with 10 Stuart Broads? I can’t decide between putting 5 of them in our ODI top 6 batting line-up or just strategically placing all 10 around Old Trafford, each holding a corner of a large tarpaulin to shelter the pitch from rain.
Get your ‘ands out of your pockets you ‘orrible little man!!
Yes, Stuart, put your hands on your chin, in a thinking-woman’s cricketer pose.
I like to think of myself as a thinking-woman, however, under no circumstances does this make Matt Prior my type of cricketer.
No Circumstances.
It his pose, not himself as an individual. He’s posing as a thinking-woman’s cricketer.
I could pose as a super-model, or Admiral Adama, it doesn’t make me either.
He’s clearly not pulling off the pose. Maybe he should go for Broad’s more truncheon-juggling look.
If you were Admiral Adama you wouldn’t need to do a special pose. Just the fact that you’re in charge of a giant spaceship would be enough to impress the girls – thinking or otherwise.
Matt Prior should go for a pose that involves a bag over his head. That would work for him.
Why do the belts have a picture of fallopian tubes on them?
For D Charlton and Lemon Bella:
http://tinyurl.com/klqol7
Apologies as seem to have given the Broad clones v bad dandruff.
You won’t be getting preggers in a hurry, miriam.
Lemon Bella you have just given me enormous hope. I always assumed Battlestar Galactica and being attractive to women was mutually exclusive!
I really hate Matt Prior, and I thought that before I saw this picture.
Stuart Broad is wearing my primary school’s uniform. Except for that belt, which would be unnacceptable and result in a trip to the principal’s office.
Thank you Ceci. I am terrified by the No.14 Cylon who are clearly a Stuart-Broad-modelling-belt model.
And i always hoped it’d be my girlfriend. It would have explained more.
Ok, a picture of upside-down fallopian tubes.
Oh, I’d quite forgotten how brilliant this was.
“I just love the colours”? Colours shown; black, white. Whoa there.
Right Said Fred have let themselves go.
I thought about going with Eurythmics, or the Pet Shop Boys. I still feel there’s a better alternative out there. But I’m not going to get upset about it.
You do realise that further up the page we’ve written: “Erasure are looking rough these days”?
Yeah. That was in the past though, so it doesn’t count.
“Hey KP what’s holding up YOUR trousers these days”