Posted by Rob writes: “Hello King Cricket. (Long time listener, first time caller.) Here is a picture of a cat named Omelette giving me a judging expression for watching the highlights of the 2011 England v India Test series (mainly to remind myself of an era where RP Singh was considered the height of Indian pace bowling resources).
“The former England captain AN Cook’s world class blocking-out of half-volleys from a partially interested bowling attack did not resonate with him, and as such I have no idea how to engage him with this sport.”
We asked Rob whether Omelette was perhaps exhibiting just a hint of alarm at the possibility he might catch a glimpse of play.
Rob said: “He’s really not in the mood for watching the cricket, and often, upon seeing I’m watching the cricket, will jump on the screen half of the laptop in order to close it.”
If you’ve got a picture of an animal being conspicuously indifferent to cricket, please send it to king@kingcricket.co.uk.
Love this piece, Rob – what the world needs now more than anything is articles about animals displaying indifference to cricket.
9/10.
I hate to be the pedant who explains in detail why you only get 9/10 for this piece, but the truth is that, in your own words, Omelette “…often, upon seeing I’m watching the cricket, will jump on the screen half of the laptop in order to close it.”
That is not indifference, Rob, that is active antipathy. Omelette clearly needs more training in the matter of displaying indifference. Do report back on the progress you make in that regard.
“In other news….” – not a bad day’s work for Luke Wood at Canterbury
He looks the part, doesn’t he?
Is this from Rob Key?
All lies in the headline—I was promised an omelette. A bit disappointing, but I can imagine all sorts of photo opportunities. Don’t think I can fit a cricket bat in my skillet, though.
Not having a pet, I’m not sure how this pet naming thing is supposed to work. It definitely isn’t a cat that looks like an omelette, and I’m pretty confident it won’t sound like an omelette as omelette are not known for their distinctive noise. They make a distinctive lack of noise but this is common to many culinary products. If the cat smells like an omellete that’s probably a sign to call a vet, and I sincerely hope nobody has checked whether it tastes of omelette.
If it is, in fact, reasonable and/or common to name pets after food products they bear no sensory resemblance to, how many cats are there out there with names like “Quornburger”, “Spaghetti”, “Sandwich”, “Banana”, “Potato-mash”, “Heinz Beans”, “Rice Krispies”, “Brussels Sprouts”, “Spinach Pesto” etc? And how many of these are indifferent to cricket? We need answers.
These are all good points. I’ve never understood why people call their dog or cat Colin. My terrier is called Scruff because he’s scruffy. That’s the deal. I guess we could all have a field day with egg-related cricketing stuff, square egg being too painful to contemplate, but like you say, we need to know why said cat is called Omelette. I think Bearley missed a trick here in his Art of Captaincy, ‘Think like an egg. If you are an omelette you can never be beaten again.’
I doubt Brearley missed a trick. In fact if getting beaten until it seems you can’t get beaten again was a part of England’s tactical thinking of the time, it would explain much about their cricket in the 1980s, or indeed at certain times since.
Maybe people call their dog Colin because they’re a collie? This explanation seems more dubious for cats, unless there has been some unusual cross-breeding.
If you like David Warner don’t read this, if you hate David Warner read this.
Point 1:
Yesterdays game in the IPL of SRH v DC Warner was stupid. The match ended with a super over as you may well know. Warner then put himself in with Kane Williamson to bat they only got a measly 7. Williamson was the best choice and then Bairstow was second best but no Warner had to go instead. Bairstow in the main innings got 38 of 18 and Williamson got 66* of 51, they are the perfect choice but no, Warner (who got 6 of 8) put him and he was horrific.
Warner is stupid. Use common sense man.
Point 2:
Williamson, as aforementioned got 66* of 51, and he nearly won the game for SRH, not only that but generally scored valuable runs in this game. And in one article that I read this morning they were sad that they had to leave Manish Pandey out of the side, even though he was playing shockingly. And their excuse for the first games to leave Williamson out of the side was saying that he wasn’t fit, well what do you ‘fit’ he could be fitter than many other players but just not selected. Was Warner trying to be SRH’s hero and get all the runs and be some miricale man, he couldn’t he’s Australian.
Warner is stupid.
Point 3
Bairstow is known for being a man who likes to open in white ball games and is also known for being considerably destructive when opening as well. In the 2020 IPL season Bairstow and Warner opened in the bulk of the games before he was dropped after a couple of games where he got low scores, you might say, yes he wasn’t playing well but so he was dropped, but the problem is Warner. He doesn’t show enough faith in a man that is exceptional at getting good scores and getting them when they are and aren’t needed. Warner ought to ensure that every game Bairstow opens and that warner himself should be demoted to drinks carrier because he is Australian and stupid.
Warner is stupid.
As a conclusion to this I think that Warner is stupid and that Bairstow should have a higher priority that Warner and that although Warner is captain that doesn’t make him better than someone who is better than him.
#Warnerisstupid.
There’s a theme underpinning this comment, but we can’t quite put our finger on exactly what it is.
I need a wristband to remind me What Would David Warner Call His Possibly Hypothetical Pet Cat?
Beautiful boy.
(Insert your own ‘and the cat’s nice too’ joke here.)