Graeme Swann fails to conquer his bail addiction

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For years Graeme Swann has secretly suffered from a rare and debilitating disease. Graeme is addicted to bails.

Graeme’s been through a number of treatments – enforced withdrawal, hypnosis, various types of medication – but in the end he just has to accept it. He’s a bail addict and he’ll never be fully cured.

During the second one-day international between Sri Lanka and England at Dambulla, Graeme fell spectacularly from the bail wagon.

Standing at third-man, he was suddenly overcome by bail lust. He charged in and snatched the bails before the astonished eyes of his team mates.

His latest treatment is to always carry two small pieces of dowel as a substitute for his beloved bails.