The international summer is over

1. I wish he’d bowl damn quickly for the West Indies – for the greater good…

2. Hmmm. After complaining that they had picked the wrong squad, it was quite interesting to see the likes of Rankin, Buttler and Stokes, who look like promising prospects. But I still say most of them should be tried out in the Lions, not the senior team in proper internationals against Australia. Unless, you know, you don’t care about the result.

   Does the build-up to the next Ashes start here? Have the players been banned from talking about it yet?

3. A bit flat at the end. Even Michael Clarke looked like he’d had think hard to find some positive things to say in the interviews.

   But I am, at least, a dozen bottles of red wine better off, from the standing Ashes bet I have with an Australian. He ordered them over the phone from my local shop. The man in the shop asked him if he wanted to buy another dozen for January now or wait for a bit. A nice touch.

   One is called “Cover Drive”, which is appropriate. Some have “Lehmann” written on them, which is also nice.

   As a gesture, because this bet is becoming a tad one-sided, I thought I’d buy a case of English beer for the Australian, for them winning the ODI series or something. Cans rather than bottles, I felt, as I’m led to believe there’s a shortage of decent openers in Australia.

   1. Bitter, Bert, most certainly bitter.

   2. I suggest American beer instead, Bert. PBR.

   3. I thought I would console myself over a dismal tour by enjoying the fresh meat, reasonably priced wines and lovely warm sunny weather that our country is famous for.
      Unfortunately over the last few weeks it’s rained pretty much every day and the maximum temperature hasn’t exceeded 20C. I may not be able to BBQ but at least I still have the wine.
      On that note maybe I should emulate some of those on this site and boycott some quality English products to show my patriotism for the return series. Only thing is I can’t really think of any…

   4. You could start with cricket.

   5. It’s not a boycott in my case, wolf, it is a superstitious abstention from wine produced in Austrailia, which is ludicrous I know but not the same thing.

      If I were an Aussie seeking a similar ludicrous abstinence in return, I think I would, for the duration of the Ashes, abstain from reading any books or magazines published in England.

   6. I deserved that. Actually the way the national team is running boycotting cricket will be less massochistic than watching it but that would also involve not playing.
      Ged you are probably right with literature but how far should I take it? Would I still be able to watch movies produced from literature, such as The Hobbit?

4. Anyone else think the ashes summer has not been as good as you thought it would? The tests where so so and seemed the end with a whimper. The odi and 20/20 have barely noticed. Maybe previous series made this seem like this or maybe it was overhyped.

   1. In Soviet Russia, Onion peels you.

   2. In Soviet Russia, test matches lose Australia.

5. I got fed up with hearing commentators saying something along the lines of (when talking about an inexperienced England cricketer batting)…

   ‘But has he faced anyone as quick as (insert quick Aussie bowler name) in county cricket?

   Well yes. Chris Jordan, evidently. There may be more, I don’t know. Just stop saying it. Think of something new to say.

   1. The alternative is for them to drone on about momentum going in to the Ashes series in Oz.

      Who wants that sort of inane chat?

6. I’m trying to be patient for the schedule changes which we’ll see next season.

   But what is the domestic season and all these meaningless ODI’s doing still going on in wet September with people counting down to Christmas(already).

   5live and TS hardly mention anything about the County Championship and then around now start talking about it as if they’ve been covering it in minute detail for 4 months. Durham – who are they? We’re supposed to know, it seems, that they are about to win the Championship.

   Meanwhile the Ashes circus rumbles on to its’ conclusion with T20 and ODI’s which remind us that the bat makers have succeeded in turning the sport into baseball (when will we start seeing a bull pen with bowlers warming up in it?).

   And in the short format baseball, if I hear Monty Python’s, ‘Always look on the bright side of life’, once more, I will apply to enter the sanitorium (as long as they don’t play it there).

   Thankfully, we won’t have to listen to any more shows on 5Live with pushy Michael Vaughan and ‘Jack the lad’ Phil Tufnell going into minute detail about this Australian cricketer or that England star.

   Finally, can someone put me out of my misery and explain the registration system which allows Ranking to play for Warwickshire, Ireland and the England Lions all at the same time?

   (Come on now everyone, let’s sing – Always look on the bright side of life……)

7. Mark, you should write to the Telegraph. http://www.buzzfeed.com/charlottelytton/15-first-world-problems-as-told-by-the-daily-teleg-91q6

8. What a marvellous list of nonsense, Sam. I’m still laughing, especially about the fox and Sharapova (sorry, Sugarpova).

   Then again, duvets being ‘the invention of misguided continentals’ might just top it?

   Not sure my rantings are up to the standard of that list but you are right, the tone certainly fits!

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