Month: January 2011 | King Cricket

January 20, 2011 England

Samit Patel makes a commitment

< 1 minute readIt would seem that Samit Patel is fully committed to maintaining his lardy physique. As Andy Flower said: “He was chosen on the condition that he would improve his physical state to be in consideration for this squad of 15. He hasn’t done that.” Good work, Samit. That’s commitment. Don’t

January 19, 2011 New Zealand

Daniel Vettori just wants to be ‘the guy with the glasses’

< 1 minute readEveryone’s got a thing. Whether you’re Overreaction Girl, Super-keen Man or even if it’s simply that you look like a toad wrapped in human skin, it’s important to give people some sort of a handle; something they can grip onto so that they can more easily know who you are.

January 18, 2011 Uncategorised

Overheard in our local

< 1 minute readThree of the least cricket people you could ever imagine. One guy had been explaining how he could never move abroad because he’d just bought a 50 inch plasma TV. Here are some sample quotes. “It’s like the World Cup, but the Ashes is only ever played between England and

January 17, 2011 England

When a batsman reaches 100

< 1 minute readSam writes: As the third day of the final test in Sydney began I drifted off to sleep, the dulcet tones of Simon Mann hastening my journey along the winding road to slumbertown. An hour or so later I awoke to the news that Alastair Cook was out for 99,

January 16, 2011 Australia / England

When Shane Watson hit 161 not out in a one-day match against England

< 1 minute readWe’ll be honest. We didn’t see a single ball of this match. We were drinking Belgian beers and playing Goldeneye when it began and we were getting over that experience when it ended. On balance, we made the right choice. Seven one-day internationals between Australia and England a couple of

January 14, 2011 England

England are so bad we just threw up

< 1 minute readWe’re not sure we’ve ever seen an England side as bad as this. The top order keep throwing their wickets away. The bowling lacks pace and guile. There’s no plan. No cohesion. Midway through England’s innings we actually threw up due to acute dissatisfaction. We now feel completely irritated. COMPLETELY

January 13, 2011 England

Paul Collingwood – an England professional

3 minute readThe days of Gentlemen and Players are long gone, but Paul Collingwood would have been the latter – a man who never lost sight of the fact that it was all about scoring runs; taking wickets and catches; and occasionally missing the ball often enough that your team salvaged a

January 13, 2011 Australia / Extras

Matthew Hayden Ashes reaction

< 1 minute readEven now, people often ask us to write about Matthew Hayden. We never do. Partly it’s that Hayden has retired and is therefore no longer ‘a target’. Mostly it’s just that we don’t like doing what people ask us to do. With that in mind, we’d like to emphasise that

January 12, 2011 Australia / England

Shane Watson v England

< 1 minute readAustralia might have had a better chance in the first Twenty20 international if 10 of them hadn’t been shit. The 11th player, Shane Watson, has suddenly found a world where hitting fifties and bowling straight medium-pace is quite handy. If he’d have found a competent team mate, Australia would have

January 12, 2011 Regulars