< 1 minute read We all know that life is essentially just one long series of downers. You get the occasional event that gives rise to a small degree of optimism, but these are only there to discourage you from ending it all, thus ensuring that you can experience even more of the bad
Continue readingMonth: January 2010
Umar Akmal won’t play if Kamran Akmal doesn’t play
< 1 minute read Just when you think that international cricket can’t get any more like the playground, it does. It’s only a matter of time before someone breaks a window with a shit shot on goal and everyone gets bollocked for it. There are mutterings that Umar Akmal isn’t really injured, that it’s
Continue readingRicky Ponting: It’s possible to inflict self-inflicted problems on your opponents
< 1 minute read Is there no limit to Ricky Ponting’s powers? Pakistan are currently in some disarray. Ponting says: “I guess a lot of the stuff that is happening around their side at the moment was probably stuff they brought on themselves.” He then adds: “If you play really well, you can create
Continue readingBall tampering: England must try harder
< 1 minute read We really hope that England weren’t tampering with the ball last week, because if they were, they’re rubbish at it. Our stance on ball tampering is that players should do whatever they can get away with. To us, that’s the divide: if you’re caught, you’ve crossed the line. There’s a
Continue readingWhy Test cricket can never die
2 minute read If you watched the final overs of England’s feat of escapology against South Africa, you already know why Test cricket can never die. We’ve said it before and we’ll happily say it again. Test cricket can offer something that no other sport can. It offers more than any other form
Continue readingIan Ronald Bell is an actual hero
< 1 minute read In the words of Alan Partridge: “Jurassic Park!” How can we explain what has happened today? Ignore the dismissal near the end, Ian Bell did the job. This was not expected by anyone. Imagine you’ve got a wooden spoon. This wooden spoon can somehow create dazzling pyrotechnic displays that light
Continue readingEngland’s close Test matches in the last 12 months
< 1 minute read St John’s, Antigua – West Indies finish nine wickets down Port of Spain – West Indies finish eight wickets down Cardiff – England finish nine wickets down against Australia Centurion – England finish nine wickets down against South Africa Cape Town – England finish nine wickets down against South Africa
Continue readingSamit Patel looks to Darren Lehmann for help
< 1 minute read Everyone needs a role model and with Samit Patel’s weight issues, who better to turn to than Mark Cosgrove‘s mentor. Samit Patel is heading to Darren Lehmann’s cricket academy in a bid to get in shape for next season. Other places Samit considered suitable: Bed The settee A bakery
Continue readingMike Hussey is a man you can’t give a fourth chance to
< 1 minute read When the best players are given a chance, they take it. For example, Mike Hussey didn’t need to be given a fifth chance when compiling 134 not out in Australia’s stunning win against Pakistan. Dropped by Kamran Akmal off Danesh Kaneria on 23, Hussey merely narrowed his eyes and said:
Continue readingAlastair Cook – treat us to an innings of rare beauty
2 minute read It’s hard to pay attention on days like yesterday. You drift off, but every time you look up, you think: ‘Jesus, how did that happen?’ Look on the bright side though. It’s only very occasionally that a match situation calls for one of cricket’s finest sights: the innings of no
Continue reading