< 1 minute readIt’s Dwayne Smith and it’s one of the half-hourly Mongoose cricket bat press releases we receive. We have a friend who had to be photographed as a cowboy once. We won’t say why. Not because it’s sinister, but because it sounds sinister if we leave the reason to your imagination.
Continue readingMonth: August 2009
Old Trafford Twenty20 match report
3 minute readMahinda writes: It was a grey day in Manchestie when my motley crew headed to Old Trafford for an evening’s Twenty20 – Lankyshire versus Zummerrrrrrzet in a T20 Cup quarter-final. I’d organised a work-subsidised social. Workmate Andy had even brought his mother and two of his daughters along. We’d all
Continue readingWhat has Luke Pomersbach done?
< 1 minute readRemember Luke Pomersbach? Having been rewarded so handsomely for his piss-artistry 18 months ago, he’s decided that getting wankered is the way forward. After a night drinking the finest wines known to humanity (maybe), Luke Pomersbach hopped into his Toyota Prado and set off. Having ploughed into the back of
Continue readingFlimsy headline of the week
< 1 minute readFrom the BBC: “Ramprakash in England contention”. How have they deduced that this is the case? Because when asked about the likelihood of Ramprakash’s selection, England national selector, Geoff Miller, said: “I’m not ruling anybody out.” We’d have gone with “Geoff Capes in England contention” on the grounds that he
Continue readingThe Headingley Test probably didn’t happen
< 1 minute readWe sometimes have conversations with friends which go something like this: Us: I was in the pub the other day and I had a terrible pint. I thought there was something wrong with it so I asked the barman to change it. He tasted it and said it was fine,
Continue readingEngland cricketers’ heads drop
< 1 minute readThe difference between England and Australia so far is that when Australia have been down, they’ve fought like bastards. Even when they lost, they still managed 406 in the fourth innings. England fought in the first Test, but their decline since the middle of the third Test is unstoppable. The
Continue readingEngland 102 all out
< 1 minute readThis kind of performance begs an obvious question: angry or amazed? They say that you can never tell how good or bad a batting performance is until both sides have batted. That’s not strictly true now, is it?
Continue readingBooing Ricky Ponting
< 1 minute readGiles Clarke says England fans shouldn’t boo Ricky Ponting. He thinks it shows a lack of respect for a great batsman. He thinks it’s offensive. Well, you can happily discard Giles Clarke and his comments. Giles Clarke likes being photographed next to a big box of money. Not only that,
Continue readingBack to back Tests
< 1 minute readTechnically all the players’ injuries are unrelated to playing back to back Tests, because they’ve not actually played the second one yet. We don’t care. We’re blaming the scheduling because we hate back to back Tests. There’s also the fact that for half this match, people will be saying ‘back
Continue readingEngland v Australia, day five at Lord’s, match report
2 minute readGed writes: Daisy was feeling a bit poorly the night before and was expressing the sort of indifference towards the outing one would normally expect from cats. I gently explained that this pair of tickets were the hottest items in town and that I was a mere 30 seconds away
Continue reading