< 1 minute readFive wickets for Monty Panesar – there’s a sentence that’s been conspicuous by its absence of late. He only did it for England Lions though, who we’re going to start calling England Second XI, because that’s much more accurate. If you’re going to name one of your national teams after
Continue readingMonth: January 2008
No bowling for Shaun Tait for a bit
< 1 minute readThis is bad news. We’d already earmarked Shaun Tait as Matthew Hayden’s successor in the role of ‘most detestably arrogant Australian’. With his face, his face and also his face, he had all the attributes to make the position his own for years to come. But he’s disappointingly fragile. He’s
Continue readingAdam Gilchrist’s career
3 minute readAustralia were the best side in the world before Adam Gilchrist was promoted to the Test side. Afterwards, they took on an air of invincibility. How can a side take the fifth Australian wicket and be faced with a batsman who middles the ball with his first stroke, throws the
Continue readingAustralia fail on a flat pitch
< 1 minute readFor years most Australian Test wickets have been flatter than a pancake ironed by an anal retentive with the world’s most accurate spirit level. Aussie batsmen have filled their boots knowing they had the bowlers to win a match on any surface. Last year, at Adelaide, there were two innings
Continue readingMatthew Hayden: the gift that keeps on giving
< 1 minute readOnly the gift is a poo in a box and it keeps jumping up and punching you in the face, leaving you bruised and faecal. Eventually the poo knocks you out, whereupon it steals all your money and forces you to dance naked in the car park at work in
Continue readingStuart Clark’s bowling average enters the realms of the credible
< 1 minute readThere’s no problem picking five bowlers when one hits 87 and another hits 63. There were some pretty expensive bowling figures knocking about after India finished their innings. Perhaps the nicest was Stuart Clark’s 0-92. Now we’ve nothing against Clark, but he shouldn’t be averaging under 20 with the ball.
Continue readingNasir Jamshed – official stance pending
< 1 minute readOur toast is dry and the larder is empty. To the jam shed! This is tricky. Nasir Jamshed’s made a fine start to his career, walloping a 48 ball 61 and now a 64 ball 74. The problem is that both innings have been against Zimbabwe and Zimbabwe aren’t actually
Continue readingBrad Hogg bowling to Sachin Tendulkar
< 1 minute read“He hit my best ball for six,” Hogg said. Yes – and you get the impression that Sachin Tendulkar could quite easily hit any delivery he chooses for a boundary. He’s only holding back so that Hogg doesn’t get taken off. He and VVS Laxman got a bit carried away
Continue readingCricket Revolution screenshots
< 1 minute readNew cricket game! It’s not out yet though, so we’ve no idea how good it is. It doesn’t matter really. If our short-lived, poorly-paid career as a videogame ‘journalist’ taught us anything, it’s that previews of games only need pictures. Mervyn Athrapatta’s going along nicely. We’ve rather unhelpfully shrunk this
Continue readingMatthew Hayden back for Australia
< 1 minute readThis is good news, because when he’s not playing he can’t fail and humiliate himself. We don’t think it’s any coincidence that he skived the match where India’s bowlers remembered how to swing the ball. Surprisingly, this is the first time our twin obsessions have appeared on the same day.
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