County cricket

Okay, there are going to be some changes around here

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For clarity, ‘around here’ means ‘the world’.

The County Championship brings with it certain privileges. This year, the champions have the right to dictate what everyone in the entire world should eat for breakfast.

Lancashire are champions, so there will be no more muesli, no more toast with jam, no more cornflakes, no more Golden Grahams. From now on, we will all eat throdkin to break our fast.

Throdkin doesn’t have a great presence on the internet. It’s so low key that we can include pretty much the whole of the Wikipedia entry for it and you are basically up to speed:

“Throdkin is a traditional breakfast food of the Fylde, Lancashire, England. It consists of a dough of oatmeal and water pressed into a pie plate, topped with pieces of fat bacon, and baked. It was cut into wedges tart-style for serving.”

So there you go. Get cracking.

Lancashire are county champions and life is better already.

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13 comments

  1. Intriguing use of the present tense in that Wikipedia article right up until the final sentence, at which point it switches to past tense.

    That’s how fast it went.

    Or is that time-speeding-up stuff still happening, despite the fact that the county championship is done and dusted?

    Here in Middlesex, we shall no doubt take a more up-market approach to our first meal of the day tomorrow. Brunch at the Connaught perhaps?

    http://www.the-connaught.co.uk/brunch.aspx

    Much to commend it and a veritable cornucopia of choice, but not a throdkin in sight.

  2. When it says it was cut into wedges tart-style, is that refering to the manner one had to adopt while doing the cutting. If so, I’m all for it.

    By the way, I’ve written a list of changes that Lancashire’s win entitles (commits) you to do now:

    A few scattered pictures on the site of Lancashire winning the County Championship, of Lancashire receiving the County Championship trophy, of the run-out of the century, etc. And when I say “few”, I mean “bloody loads”.

    A minor modification to the title banner to include the words “Lancashire are County Champions” underneath in bold, red 80pt.

    A statement to the effect that while there are months to go yet, and the decision is not yet made, there is no possibility that anyone other than Glen Chapple will be Lord Megachief of Gold. For ever.

    Changing that thing that kept saying “Sri Lanka” when you googled this site even when it wasn’t relevant, to “Lancashire, la la la. Lancashire, la, la, la”.

    That’s it for now, but when I think of some more I’ll get back to you.

  3. Also by the way, please please please be careful and RE-READ any posts you might make about the c”O”unty champions to check for any missing letters, otherwise people might think you’re talking about Surrey.

    1. We hadn’t, although we were wondering which brewery would be first out of the blocks with something like that.

      Makes sense it would be the one sponsoring Lancashire, now that we think about it.

  5. Throdkin – an anagram of thin dork
    also north kid
    also hot drink

    not sure which applies in this instance, but they say they never lie…

  7. “Lancashire clinched a staggering triumph in the County Championship, with two bone-jangling late victories in their final two matches. Last time Lancashire won the championship outright, in 1934, it heralded a 19-year spell in which Britain fought a World War, saw a king abdicate, and presided over the collapse of its empire, and in which, more importantly, England failed to win the Ashes. So whilst this extraordinary and long-overdue triumph will be rightly celebrated across Lancashire, the rest of the country and the government may be understandably more muted in its response.”

    -Andy Zaltzman, on cricinfo.

  8. Sometimes the Northern bias of this website bothers me.

    I had two Yorkshire friends stay with me last night. I don’t think I can then handle reading about Lancastrian breakfasts.

    2. I was at Lord’s today and there was not a northerner in site.
      Apart from my girlfriend who claims she was born in Cheshire, but I have my doubts about that.

  9. Brunch at the Connaught yesterday was absolutely delightful, washed down with a magnum of Cristal, like one does.

    There was, however, a little unpleasantness when I called for my plate of Throdkin. The waiters made out they had never heard of the stuff and when I insisted on seeing Helene Darroze herself, even she acted bemused.

    “But you surely understand that throdkin is now required on breakfast menus”, I pointed out to the celebrated chef. “Lancashire have won the county championship and things are different now.” “Not round here they’re not, sunshine”, said la belle Helene.

    Still, at least we managed to avoid the arrival of the roughs and yokels who were, by all accounts, besieging NW8 yesterday morning.

    But no throdkin! I think we’ll try Claridges next time:

    http://www.claridges.co.uk/Breakfast-at-Tiffanys-Offer.aspx

    Far more likely to be up to speed with the modern trends and new requirements.

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